Rachael and I

Keann Chong May 4 at 5:27pm
Hey baby,

When you get home, or whenever you see this, its for you ♥

I don't want to go back to being half of the equation, do you understand what i'm saying. Girl without you I'm lost, can't fix this compass at heart....

other disgusting math lyrics. Ugghhhh. Bieber's making me silly. But yeah.

I love you

Common Denominator - Justin Bieber With Lyrics Official Studio Version

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I love this song (: Thanks for all the comments. No copyright infringement intended. Please don't steal this video. LYRICS: Just a fraction of your love Fills the air And I fall in love with you All ...

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Rachael Defoe May 4 at 7:08pm

"Oh, it is love
From the first
Time I set my eyes upon yours
Thinkin', "Oh, is it love?"

Oh dear
It's been hardly a moment
And you are already missed
There is still a bit of your skin
That I've yet to have kissed
Oh say, "Please do not go."
But you know, oh, you know that I must
Oh say, "I love you so."
But you know, oh, you know you can trust

We'll be holding hands once again
All our broken plans I will mend
And I will hold you tight so you know

It is love
From the first
Time I pressed my hand into yours
Thinkin', "Oh, is it love?"

Oh dear
It's been hardly three days
Yet I long to feel your embrace
There are several days until
I can see your sweet face
Oh say, "Wouldn't you like to be older and married with me?"
Oh say, "Wouldn't it be nice to know right now that we'll be?"

Some day, holding hands in the end
All our broken plans will abend
And I will kiss you soft so you know

It is love
From the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin', "Oh, is it love?"
Ohhh

Your heart may long
For a love that is more near
So, when I'm gone
These words will be here
To ease every fear
And dry up every tear
And make it very clear
I kiss you and I know

It is love
From the first
Time pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin', "Oh, is it love?"

Oh, it is love
From the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin', "Oh, is it love?"

Oh I kiss you and I know
It is love
From the first
Time I pressed my lips against yours
Thinkin', "Oh, is it love?"


♥


Keann,

I love you.

I want us to be right. I don't want us to be stuck in the middle. I don't want us to have to lie behind everyone's backs to be together.

Keann you mean the world to me, you're my best friend and so much more and I don't ever want to hurt you.
But baby, I don't know what the right thing to do is yet... Give me some time to pray and figure it out?

But I want you to know that I love you so much. So, so, so much.
If it was any other guy it'd be different... but you. You're nothing like any other guy I know or will ever know. I don't want to lose you and I need to know that my decision on us is the right thing. I'm gonna need to talk this one out with God k?

But baby I want you to know, I'm not going anywhere.
Cause Keann..

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.

I love you.


Keann Chong, I love you.
x

HelloGoodbye - Oh, It Is Love

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HelloGoodbye - Oh, It Is Love Oh, it is love From the first Time I set my eyes upon yours Thinkin', "Oh, is it love?" Oh dear It's been hardly a moment And you are already missed There is still a bit ...

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Keann Chong May 5 at 2:32am

Hey baby,

Rachael, this is the sweetest thing anyone has ever written for me. Ever. Ever. I've read it over...and over...and over...and over...

And every single time I've pored slowly over every single second of your words, I know that you're right. Baby, I love that you and I both know this isn't one of those relationships where the guy goes 'awwww crap', and his friends go 'you got owned'.

I love you no matter what we're doing, and that's the truth. We've always been on the same page here, I've always loved that, you're magic, girl, I don't understand how we happened, sometimes, the past two months have been the most magic months of my life, the past few days...have been crazy. Thank you for making my summer the best days of my life, ever.

Yes I know its not summer. Screw it.


I've been thinking about this too. I've known for awhile what kind of distance we should be having, but its so hard to say 'no' to you, and its fun to be stupid. I know I should be taking the right lead, I'm sorry that you had to, baby.

You and I both know that we've been less of 'us' and more of 'each other', since we started going out, and that's not wrong, God knows that I want to meld everything that I am into everything that you, and we are, and I'm perfectly happy about that, because I love you.

But God's been popping into my mind over the past few days, nudging me that there's still a journey for me first, a little longer, melding me into the person that He's prepared for you, and the same for you.

Baby, you're the person that I fell in love with because you gave your life to God and He shaped you that way. You're amazing.

I'm so grateful to God for letting me taste you as you are, for letting me know that I'm not alone, that we had this amazing breathless thing for a short sweet time, but at the same time I know that if we turn our eyes upon Him first, you're going to get so much more of the person that God created me to be, I don't want you to get anything less of that.

I...I'm in love with you right now, as you are, I couldn't be happier just being with you as you are now, but you get the point :P

You deserve so much more.


Baby, I love you. I'm happy to wait, you knew it before you typed this....please pray. Please figure it out. And for me, I'll definitely be living life with God as well. Letting the big guy shape me. There's no hurry, no pressure no nothing.

I'm so glad that we have Him for us. Many people don't get that. Yet.

Thank you for leading, when I couldn't, because I've liked you so much. Thank you for being the person I've asked God for, everything and more.

Thank you for giving me the best memories of my life.

I love you, Rachael.


Not going anywhere and you know it (:


I trust God, and I trust you, and I trust Him for us. And you and me.


I love you. And everything that we're going to be.
Whatever that is, I know I'm going to because...God created me to love it.


I love you, baby. And though I'll miss you, love is more than enough for that. Please be okay about the distance -hug-

I trust your choice.

God, take care of the girl I love for me, kay? I know its a silly statement...but I'm silly.

Make her feel better when she's lonely. Make her feel better when she's sad. Make her feel better when she feels there's no one to turn to, and make her feel better when its hard to be strong.


I could go on forever, jabbing at keys on my keyboard and hoping that each slow jab helps to convey how much I love you.

Been ready for this my whole life, Rachael. Ready for you.
I hope this makes you smile.

I love you

I love you

I love you

Have amazing dreams tonight, have a great day in school, and have an amazing time with God. I'm right here too.


(:

I love you. Everything about you.

Rachael (: (: (:


I love you, Rachael Defoe.

xx

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Keann Chong May 5 at 2:34am

I love you.

♥

2 May (night)

Hey God,

I had many thoughts, but after reading Joshua Harris for awhile....I want to kill myself. Uh.

Bleh. He does make sense, but he's denying so much. Stuff like not kissing at all? And not sitting in the same hammock cause of lust?

Uh. I'm not quite sure how you would approve that, and still tell Rachael and I that 'we're okay'.

And yet I get the sense that you do. Except I'm thrown into doubt because of this guy....

And me feeling inadequate. And like 'hey this guy's a pastor and wiser, who am i to have a better idea'.


But at the same time, that's not healthy. But whats the difference between foolishness and confidence?

Trust you?

And you do want Rachael and I to explore this?

I'm scared, Lord. That I'm not hearing you properly. That emotion is getting in the way. But, trust you?

Whether I hear you right or not?

For both Rachael in her life, and I in my life?

Yeah okay (:

Ruin or success is not determined by whether I've listened to you wrong or not. You've still got this. I won't deny my birthright.


(:


I love you God. Thank you. And praying with Rachael, praying for each other, and us supporting each other like crazy today, with our families, very very cool.


Different paths for all of us. What's your will for us? Versus being single and serving God in singlehood.


Be together? Be together and manage that?


I don't sense you saying no.



And that you do want to bless me, and her, but yeah this is mostly for me, with the experiences that I want.

Which is how Joshua Harris and I differ.


Okay. Not a rulebook, but just loving you, and listening to you.


Thank you. (:




Ummmm. I trust you, God. I just do. Show me what that really means, k? Bring us close to you.


Yeah.


But yeah, best day, with the family. Was crazy. Suddenly things are a lot better. And I realised....it could be because I was praying for Rachael's relationship with her mom to improve. And suddenly Dad and I jump up. Whoa. Family movie. Family dinner. Talking like a normal family. Making an effort not to offend, but being able to talk and share life.


And show him some of the person I've grown into.

Just, wow.


Movie was also pretty awesome. Iron Man 2 ftw. Yeah.

Haha. Today was a good day? Thank you God (:


Let's see what today's devotionals say....hmmm.

Okay its not so much what the devotionals say....

But I'm in danger of not trusting you fully, God, because I have an inkling that you'll take Rachael away from me.

That I want to turn away.

And that when I do make the right decision, this will purify and strengthen me.


Okay. That's my focus. Learning to trust you fully. Surrending Rachael to you like Abraham sacrificed Isaac.

Give me a bit of time, God. <3


I trust you about us. Help me trust you more.


Yeah.


Jesus, I love you.


Sustain me please, for tmr <3


And let Rachael and I be a blessing to you.


I know what we're doing in the morning.

Worship (: And seeking God. Your face. And your words. Okay. Help us hear, Dad.




Love,


I get the sense that you are being very patient. Thank you :)
I get the sense that you don't feel what we're doing is wrong, but you don't want me to turn away out of fear that you might think that. To be transparent and bare with you. And you're just encouraging me. That its okay. That I as your son....I instinctively know how to hear your voice and your desire. And its not a path of suffering. And so if it isn't, don't feel like I'm doing something wrong because I'm not getting any suffering. Self-doubt and second guessing spirituality.


Yeah okay.

This is the way to reach out now, too.


Okay.


Love you God(:


I love You


I sense that you get teenagers. As they are now. Hahhahaa okay. Thank you for the encouragement, God.


<3 Love

1 May 2010 (night)

So many favourite moments today.


Goodbye kiss, and hug, check.

Night holding you and talking under the -well lack of - stars, check.

Longest sweet make out session, check

Staring at you for the longest time while holding you, check

Bringing God in, God really being with us today, and us knowing, major check.


Thank you so much God <3

Yesterday was like, first kiss, and first time holding hands, cuddling on the bus, holding hands and walking and stopping to kiss. First time on the grass by the beach, first party with friends, making out in the dark, everything.


And the first time holding each other watching Glee. Studying together. Haha. And before that...holding each other watching a movie. Which was ages ago. Hahahaha uh.

Did we hold each other any time between that, God? I can't remember <_<


Anyway. Yeah <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Major dates; 19th Feb, 30th April, 1 May

Telling you I liked you, first kiss, and bringing God in.


Crazy.


Soooo ummm.

Yeah. God. Hi. I love you. Thank you. Thank you for finding me. I asked you to send me a sign of approval, and you essentially did. Told me that you're chill. I mean, Rach and I could be doing something else, but either way, you're happy that I'm happy. Really. Which kinda makes sense, because if I had a son, with a girlfriend, they might do something I might vaguely not prefer, but I'd still be happy that he'd be happy.


I'm so glad. When I held her today. You were there. I mean, you were always there, but I was aware of it today. When I kissed her. When we talked, holding each other, you were there. And I wasn't running away from you. We're here. We're together.

And that's amazing. That really is crazy amazing. Thank you God. For letting me know, over the past couple of days, and the time with you at overnight. And today. And time with Rachael to talk about it.


What was it you told me today?

Yeah. That I don't have to have all the answers to all the issues. The different groups of people. Culture. Truth. Solve the church's problems with boundaries and whatever. I don't have to fix all of those, its fine. But the thing is, honouring her parents.

Yeah. And


Omg. Interruption. I know what to pray for Rachael about. And what she should pray about. That she can build relationships with her mom so well that she can openly tell her how crazy we are about each other, and whether honestly we can get together earlier. For a real, open, relationship. And from there hopefully something can happen. But for that relationship to be there. Yeah

anyway. Um. God, I went up for altar call deciding that yes, the other issues all don't matter, but pursuing you is honouring her parents, and I would like help for that.

Ummm. Chongkai came to pray for me. And of course, he's attached to eunice. It really means a lot to me. A couple that's been together. And a guy I really really respect. From Fuel-up camp. And I was able to share, though I couldn't bring myself to tell him that we kissed already <_<

But I take in faith that he gets it. All us people in relationships. We know. Ahhahaa uh. I shared about boundaries, etc, and stuff. And he said, God, there are a lot of questions marks I keep sending up to you. And you keep sending rainbows down. And each rainbow is a promise of your love? That there is no condemnation. Which you have been telling me. But what he told me about boundaries really helped me to understand that.

Not to take it like a law, which condemns, I get it. But what to take it as?

Boundaries: 1. To help you honour your partner 2. For you to explore other forms of love.


That really helped me. Breathed a sigh of relief. Its not a law that if we don't we die. But really, something that would be cool to try, but if we don't, its okay, you know? Its helpful, its good, but yeah its chill.


Yeah.

Ummmmm.

Rachael and I hung out later. Haha. And it was so, good. Lord. We hung out. with you, and all, and held each other, and just talked about stuff, and it was amazing. And all that. And really shared, and stuff. Mmmm. The best. Bringing you into it really was the best thing. Ever. ohh gosh. Thank you, God.



I realised we never actually got around to talking about honouring parents and not being together though. Uh. Ummm.

I just get the sense, God, that you approve. Right now.


its okay. Um. Okay. Just help me to love you, and seek you, for my own, k? And for each other.


Its pretty simple:

We're in love.

Her parents don't want us dating yet.

So uhhhhhh. Provide a direction, God. Its not about rules. It really is about loving you. Help me love you. Thank you for helping us work out the issue about condemnation. We're not.


And yes. Reason why I focus on you more than Rachael. Rachael is amazing. But she cannot lead me through life!

Only you can. Cause you know. And you're in charge, and in control, and you know everything. Only you can guide me. Rachael can't.


That's why I love you (: One aspect, anyway, and the one I think I want to focus on.

Yeah (:



Ummmmm. Parents....I guess the plan is....yes.

Pray that: she can build relationships with her mom so well that she can openly tell her how crazy we are about each other, and whether honestly we can get together earlier. For a real, open, relationship. And from there hopefully something can happen. But for that relationship to be there. Yeah



Ehhehehe. And uh. Hopefully I can meet her parents sometime. On neutral ground. And give them a good impression of me? :x

Yeah.

But at the same time, boundaries for being friends, the same reason to think about. Not because its BAD....

But exploring a relationship as friends, and love in there, isn't bad either.


As opposed to going straight in. We missing out on so much. Its possible. To explore. Not just go deep, but go wide.


Sorta.

Wisdom Lord, give me please (:



Love. Let tmr be a good day? I'll do the cell thing tmr. Attendance. Cell question. Testimony. Decide what to do with cell (Cerise), worship, journal a word thing. Dance. Hopefully a book.


Yeah.


And message my dad now. Yeah (:


Love you, Dad (God)


Love,

May 1 2010

Hey Daddy,

We kissed today. Omg. thinking about it, typing it, makes me feel so happy. I am so, so thankful, God.

So thankful. Its indescribable. Maybe I'm being silly. But I'm so thankful. Rachael is amazing. And I am in love with this girl.

In love. And we kissed. And sparks flew. The world melted away. All I can see is her.

Its crazy. I'm crazy. Whoa God. Is this right? You're not saying its wrong....just everyone else is.

.

Parents, leaders, the church, etc.

Sigh. But I'm not going to dwell on that for now, God. There is love here. This is happy. Let's not let Satan steal it away? I am so confused, sometimes. But I know that this is good. Love is good.

Doubts and fears are not. Screw them. Get thee away from me, Satan.


Ohhhman.

Yesterday....was the most amazing day of my life. Part 2. The first was....19th Feb. We all know what happened there.


You know what I hate? I hate it when Rachael's friends ask 'how long have you two been going out'. And I'm like..uhhhhhhh.

I hate saying that we're not. I hate saying that we're just trying to be friends. Either way, it feels so loser, cause we're def not acting like friends, we don't want to be, but we're stuck in the middle somewhere and its such a loserish compromise.

But ahhhhh.

I just want to be with this girl, God. I want to say she's my girlfriend. Care for her. Hang out. Belong.

Together.

But. Blehhhh.


But yes she is so amazing. Thank you God.

Crazy.

I still feel her lips. I still feel her kissing my face, neck, touching me, holding me, I never want to be away from this girl.

I want to die, God. Ahhhhh.

She's so beautiful, and so amazing, inside and out.

Yesterday....I met the girl at like, 3pm. And she was gorgeous.


I'm going to remember those memories forever. Cuddling on the bus. Just talking enjoying her. Ignoring everyone else.

Getting off the bus. Her hand finding mine. And I was like 'omg.'


Magic. It just fit. Our hands fit. We walked in sync together. That never happened with Genny. Awkward as.


Yeah. Walking down to the beach, past the houses, under the shade of the trees, holding hands, talking, laughing....mad.


Omgggg. Thank you God.

Just thank you. Can I really wait for this? I don't know ):



Crazy. Walking down the path as the sunlight danced across the path...nearly getting hit by a tree because I'm looking at her so much..

Man.

Magic.

I miss you. Rachael.

And then. Going to east coast. Holding hands. Sitting at the benches. Just lost in her.

I was just lost in her.


Lost.

Perfect day, perfect weather. Thank you God. Grass so green, sea so blue, wind so breezy.

And honestly there's not much I can remember. Because after we started kissing, my head exploded.


I remember holding her. I remember staring at her eyes. I remember me trying to kiss her, nosing her, and she not letting me. Keeping in control. I remember her saying 'we should walk' and I saying 'can I hold you for five minutes more, please'.


And we did. And thenn...honestly I can't remember if we started kissing before or after she traced my face again, and said 'I love you'.

And I said 'I love you'.

Because I really do. It was bouncing around in my head the whole time, the whole week, ages. All the times I was saying I miss you, wishing I could say I love you. Hoping that it really was love. Scared that it was. Not letting myself.


But I do love her. I love Rachael. So much. Omigoshh. We're in love. Thank you God. I want to be with this person for the rest of my life. If not, whats the point. Siighhh.

I'm dying.

And then we started kissing. I think I went in. I'm not sure. She let me. We shared a slow, sweet kiss. A full kiss. So amazing. And then we started kissing more. More. Nuts.


I remember so much of that, its impossible to describe with words. Okay not really. But yeah. Just...finally. Kissing the girl I love. She kissing me back. Leaving me breathless. Face-sucking, we were doing, pretty much. Omigosh.


I love you, Rachael, I love you.

Mad. We stayed there till 530. And then we left. And as we walked back along the same path we came, holding hands....we could not stop stopping to kiss each other. Crazy. She's just as crazy as I am. Maybe more. Nuts. Thank you God. Crazy.


I love this girl.

Siiighhh.


How do we be friends now? Idunno. Crazy D:





Rest of the day was pretty perfect. Ash's party at Davis'. I hope I turned out okay. Thank you God for general acceptance. And hitting it off with the rest. Sorta. I really do want to hang out with them more. You know that I've been ready for this my whole life. Australian, western culture. I've always been ready. The guys, the girls, even if I'm not dating them :rolls eyes:

Crazy. And funnily yeah I do prefer hanging out with the guys. Until I start hanging out with Rachael...


I want to be with her so much. But I also don't want to be stuck to her at parties and such? Yeah. We can be, but we're missing out on so much individually. But yeah. Amazing fun. Making out in the dark. Ahahaha. I can't not. I'd make out in the day, hold her, but I wonder what it'd do for her social life :P


Mad.


Yeah. Help me to get to know the rest of them soon, God. Its insanely fun. Yeah.


Wish I could, but with them all thinking we're going out....and we wanting to go out...but trying not to....


Arrrgh. ._.




Nutters. Shery's party was okay. Pretty meh, honestly. Hahhaa sigh. Wish Rachael was there. But its kay. Got to the mrt late. Made Rachael wait. Never again, okay D: I had good reasons, but yeah D: Waffy is right. I should get there half an hour early. Never make a lady wait. Etc.

Grateful to him for staying.

And it was cool to talk to him...


Yeah. Hung out some with Liyana, Izan, Christian, etc. Yeah (:

Great fun. Quiet, but yeah.


Overnight prayer. Hhahhaa. Umm. God, you and I know, yeah. I was soaking, dwelling in you. Feeling like crap for breaking 'boundaries'. But honestly....isn't that like a law? A law which condemns? Which isn't the point?


Yeah. And so...most of overnight, just soaking. In you.

Thank you that you don't condemn me. I'm not quite sure why, but I know that you don't. I think you approve of Rachael and I, Lord. I really think you do. I hope you do. Your approval means so much D:


Please send your approval in a tangible form? Ish?


Yeahhhh. Disadvantaged and marginalized. Honestly....I wasn't really hugely on fire for them. Uh. But praying anyway. I know that there is a shift in obedience as well. And commitment. And the power of community is right there, encouraging each other on.


Yeah.

Okay. I'm done word vomiting. Long. Hahhaha sigh.


So much happened today, Lord. I'm so happy.


Thank you so much.


Just, thank you. Help me to love you more than I do Rachael. Cause deep down, I know that's what I was created for, Rachael yes, but you first.


Love,

SO I MISS HER LIKE CRAZY. AHHHHHHHHH.

Crazy. Haha. sigh.


): ): ): ):

I don't want to put down the phooooooooneeee. But I can't say that of course. Rarrrrgh.


Nuts.
owell.