Woooooo.
Today was the best day. Hahaha sigh.
Okay let's start with the Ian Andrews stuff that I learnt over the week. Cause I notice that's not in my journals yet.
Wed:
Massive basics and foundations on healing. The biggest thing that I took away was: faith is not a feeling. The true meaning of it. That I don't have to feel big and awesome and confident (in God's power or my own) for God's healing to work. I can stand there feeling completely stupid and it'll have no effect on the healing taking place. Not an issue. I need to get hold of that audio clip! For Josh Simon/cell members, and myself :)
Thurs:
The four places to go to, to get a double portion.
Gilgal - casting off the reproach of Egypt
Bethel - dwelling in worship and experiencing God
Jericho - test of faith. Extreme test of your faith
Jordan - place of power and death.
Honestly after reviewing notes i'm not quite sure what the last meant. The point I took away from it, is to look at God and not the miracles going on all around (fire horses vs whirlwind), to gain your double portion. But I'm not sure how that relates to power and death...
Otherwise, I know where I'm at. For quite a while I have been stuck between Bethel and Jericho. I just want to go baaaackkk and worshipppppp. Its comfortable theeeereee.
But yeah. Hahha. Trial of faith. I'm doing that with money and a couple of other things, and I guess just be aware when God is doing that :)
Fri:
Tree of life vs tree of knowledge mentality!
Instead of knowing right vs wrong, just knowing what's on God's heart! (inc his Word). But yeah. Living in that. So key. And that if you do something for 30 days, it'll become a habit.
WHY DIDN'T SOMEBODY TELL ME THIS EARLIER. ITS SO HELPFUL. AHHHH.
Yeah :)
The Friday dialogue was amazing!!! I've always wanted the answers to those questions about falling under the power of the Spirit and the crazy laughter (not so much the laughter), but yeah. Omigosh. Just being able to ask those questions. And learn about the pushing. That its okay not to fall.
Also, I realised that though I've never fallen under the power before, I've actually 'slain' someone. Ahahha i completely forgot. After last ssm. And I clearly wasn't pushing cause I wouldn't know how...she just slid down.
Interesting.
Friday cell....ohgosh I completely bombed the last song. Couldn't catch the chord. But its okayyy. We need more practice. Rah. Cell was good, Pearl, Roseanne and I decided to do the hand-knowledge thing, and we all got accurate things on the other 3 cell members in attendance. Mad. Hahhaa. And we decided to impart whatever we got, and when Roseanne laid hands on Tessa, the fire of God came and Tessa's back got really hot and she was so scared! HAHAHA. Pretty cool :)
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Saturday :)
I decided to go to Quiznos for lunch alone, and a quiet place to sink into a book, and dwell in God, and absorb everything for the week. Yes, I have money, but I also need to get glasses, but I decided to dwell in providence. Tree of life. And God and I were okay with it, so :)
The best time. Enjoyed the blessing that is the food that God gave me, so much, the gigantic couch, and Supernatural Ways of A Transformed Mind. Omigosh and the last two chapters that I had left to read blew my mind.
Okay mostly the second last. Dreaming With God. I learnt that God wants our desires too. That we're not always to function in a 'God what do you want me to do for everything' mode, that that's not the way!
Which I'm pretty sheepish about cause I do ask God about mostly everything, the little things especially. This shirt, that shirt, bus or train, where to eat, everything...and the book exactly described that. Haha. But no condemnation, its not wrong :)
But yeah. God wants to please us too. That was just crazy affirming. I know its biblical, not just teachings, but examples. Moses, Abraham! And that he wants our dreams too, and shapes His plan according to them! That was pretty crazy. It so affirmed my dreams for dance. And especially after finding out that I DID get into the YOG Opening Ceremony Dance, in the morning, and being so so happy and thanking God, and texting the people that mattered to me - and not daring to text Pastor Jenn cause I was afraid she might ask 'Keann can you handle it' D:
(yes Ps Jenn I think you'll read this, but I'm obviously okay with telling you about this now. (: )
Cause I wasn't sure if it was just my desire and i was being presumptuous, but I do know that any and every dance I go for is to get better and gain exposure and choreo that I can use in a hip hop dance ministry that I feel so called for in the future.
(Ohyeah, when Ian Andrews talked about desire, and impartation and desire, I knew exactly what I wanted, just the way he described it. Dance. For some reason. Healing and words of knowledge and everything is great yes and I want more...but dance is just far far away on top. I'm not sure why, but I believe its God-given.)
Lala did ask 'can you handle it'. I didn't want to reply. But on the way to Orchard, I resolved I was going to stand up for my belief in the tree of life principle, that God put me there, and that He will give me the strength to cope and excel, period.
And then I got there and read the book and it affirmed so much and so I replied her with that in mind too :)
Yeah.
Best time soaking in God and just going through concepts in my mind, afters.
And the best time wandering OC on my own, dwelling in God's presence. Just enjoying the crazy architecture of the mall. So little organized structure. Ahahhaa.
Did growth track Lesson 1afterwards with Bryan and Marcus! (After I danced for awhile)
At scape. That was good. And I was able to ask some awesome questions:
They were like: 'When you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Saviour' (Becoming a Christian)
And I was like 'What does that really mean?'
And they were like 'Uh'
HAHAHHAA. But yeah I really got them to think about stuff like that, and draw on verses, and work through what Jesus did and the significance there. What sin is, what God has to do about it, and Jesus filling the gap. Very cool.
I felt like an awesome teacher. Sorta. Ahahhahaa. :P
('What does that really mean') credit goes to Pastor Jenn. Just the way she usually asks her questions. I picked up on that. Hahhahaha.
Church. Awesome time in worship. I had a whole new perspective on worship, bringing hip hop dance to the table with the "God is my friend/brother" mentality, almost horizontal, instead of vertical, you know? And it really was a breakthrough. Crazy. I think Hip Hop might really be meant for that kinda thing. The whole brother brother friend thing. Pretty crazy :)
Ohhhh. Prayed for some little guy afters who came up with a hurt finger. I did the warehouse thing and it totally got healed. Yes I felt so stupid. Ahahahhaa. But yeah awesome.
And Ps Jenn's message on Honour, I was just like, YES. I have heard it before...but now I don't have to worry about conveying all those practical things like standing and everything and worrying about maybe being too preachy! Its already been taught, its out in the open. Yay. :) :) Now I can work with it, for the cell and for the community. Awesome.
And then....gosh, the most amazing talk with chonghao and Pastor Peter at night. I really appreciated it. We shared how we are with our cells, strengths, weaknesses, struggles we have, callings, preferences, destinies, the way we're wired...
Just so good. I'm so glad that I got to express all of that. And that we got to faciliate discussion with each other! And also the presence of Pastor Peter. Really. Having that kind of super long talk about our dreams and doubts in ministry with him there really was a huge thing. Or if any other pastor was there, just listening. The sense of approval..really means a lot to us. Crazy. So mad.
But yeah. It was the best day :)
OKAY HANDS TIRED RAH YAY JOURNAL DONE WOOHOOO. THANK YOU GOD. 30 MORE DAYS. HABIT. RAH.
I love You God
Thank you for being so, so, so good to me. Its amazing :)
Also, wowwwww. That stage I can't comprehend. Chang prophesied that over me last week. And this week, YOG. Marina Parade Stadium. Broadcast in over 200 countries. Possible presidents and all that watching. THAT IS PRETTY CRAZY.
Mad performing.
Omigoshhhh. Thank you God. Let's take this world stage :)
I love You, thank you for being so amazing.
I love You.
(:
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P.S
Ohyeah I almost forgot! Tree of Life mentality yeah, tonight, cell dinner (before talk with CH/Pastor Peter), the drinks auntie that always really likes me came around asking for donations for her son to be able to study. And I gave her $2.
And then I looked at the $30 remaining, knowing that I need every cent to pay for glasses after I combine it with next week's allowance, and was like 'Uh.'
And God/I was like 'Tree of Life mentality, I can give that away, the Tree of Knowledge mentality is that if I give, I don't have anymore, but I'm on Tree of Life mentality'.
It was a challenge! But I asked her to come back, added a '1' in front of the '$2' that I wrote on the paper, and gave her $10 more. And she didn't want to accept it at first, but she did :)
Yay.
Afters, after the talk with CH/Pastor Peter, we wandered back over, the drink stall was still open (1140pm), and they bought drinks. And the auntie made me take a free drink, and pressed a Ribena into my hand.
Which isn't the point, its not like I deposited money so I can take free drinks lol, but it was cool. I didn't really want to accept it either but I guess if I'm willing to give blessings I must also be willing to receive it! Happily.
Cast off that reproach yo.
:)
Okay. Hahahha. Night :)
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