26/5/10 Wed Morning

OMIGOSH WOOOOOHOOOOO ITS DONE.


RAHHH. ITS DONE. THAT WAS PAINFUL. BUT ITS DONE. YEAHHHHHH.

JOURNALS ARE DONEEEEEEEEEEEEEE.

YAYYYYYYY.

But yeh. Painful. Many thoughts. I just wanted to run away and hide in a corner and rest in you or something. But that was worship. But it cost me. Heck yeah it cost me. It was paaaaaaainful.

Ahhhh. What happened to the Mary-Martha principle, Lord. How do I do all these things and still remain in rest in you?

Rah.

Many thoughts. First...maybe I should transcribe these things every night instead. That makes me heck of a less painful. Or do it on my phone...that way, I can just copy-paste.

I will agree that reviewing is healthy as, though. A few things I want to claim...

I AM called to be a youth pastor. And therefore I will be. I just always thought that the road to that was as a cell leader....and everything that I have learnt/gone through so far DOES help! So much!

The biggest thing that I will miss about not being a cell leader....is not the status and the position. But the nurturing and attention and care that the leadership team showers on the leaders. Like that care. And discipleship. Yeah.

Which brings into question why I feel a cell leader might not be able to give me that. Hm.

But yeah. Also....

last night's rest was good. I just conked out. Ahhhh. And ran out of the house at 8 this morning to force me to do all the journals. I mean, in hindsight, that was good. But I remember when I ran out I felt so 'bleh' and 'forced' and 'miserable'! Is that what self-discipline feels like all the time? I don't like that :/


Ahhhhhh. Grad was okay. Hahha. I hated that they shoved us back into boundaries of our courses, or our batches, for it. I mean, we've spent our lives trying to transcend the barriers! it was okay....

But pretty good. Just one of those things we have to do I guess. Hahhaa. The gown was cool. I like that. Mmmmm.

I wonder how it will be when we look back. Hahaaa.

Yeah. Okay. Leaving these pages to go rest in you, and hopefully in worship...an rest. And learn about healing. Yeah. Hopefully I won't fall asleep...we're trying something new today. Looking to ask questions all the time instead of trying to take down quietly. I just break down there...


No contacts at all today. Or money for lunch. Thought about going into my mom's room to grab coins...but God will provide. Rah. Help me to rest, God.

I NEED IT. RAH.


LOVE YOU GOD.