1 May 2010 (night)

So many favourite moments today.


Goodbye kiss, and hug, check.

Night holding you and talking under the -well lack of - stars, check.

Longest sweet make out session, check

Staring at you for the longest time while holding you, check

Bringing God in, God really being with us today, and us knowing, major check.


Thank you so much God <3

Yesterday was like, first kiss, and first time holding hands, cuddling on the bus, holding hands and walking and stopping to kiss. First time on the grass by the beach, first party with friends, making out in the dark, everything.


And the first time holding each other watching Glee. Studying together. Haha. And before that...holding each other watching a movie. Which was ages ago. Hahahaha uh.

Did we hold each other any time between that, God? I can't remember <_<


Anyway. Yeah <3 <3 <3 <3 <3 <3

Major dates; 19th Feb, 30th April, 1 May

Telling you I liked you, first kiss, and bringing God in.


Crazy.


Soooo ummm.

Yeah. God. Hi. I love you. Thank you. Thank you for finding me. I asked you to send me a sign of approval, and you essentially did. Told me that you're chill. I mean, Rach and I could be doing something else, but either way, you're happy that I'm happy. Really. Which kinda makes sense, because if I had a son, with a girlfriend, they might do something I might vaguely not prefer, but I'd still be happy that he'd be happy.


I'm so glad. When I held her today. You were there. I mean, you were always there, but I was aware of it today. When I kissed her. When we talked, holding each other, you were there. And I wasn't running away from you. We're here. We're together.

And that's amazing. That really is crazy amazing. Thank you God. For letting me know, over the past couple of days, and the time with you at overnight. And today. And time with Rachael to talk about it.


What was it you told me today?

Yeah. That I don't have to have all the answers to all the issues. The different groups of people. Culture. Truth. Solve the church's problems with boundaries and whatever. I don't have to fix all of those, its fine. But the thing is, honouring her parents.

Yeah. And


Omg. Interruption. I know what to pray for Rachael about. And what she should pray about. That she can build relationships with her mom so well that she can openly tell her how crazy we are about each other, and whether honestly we can get together earlier. For a real, open, relationship. And from there hopefully something can happen. But for that relationship to be there. Yeah

anyway. Um. God, I went up for altar call deciding that yes, the other issues all don't matter, but pursuing you is honouring her parents, and I would like help for that.

Ummm. Chongkai came to pray for me. And of course, he's attached to eunice. It really means a lot to me. A couple that's been together. And a guy I really really respect. From Fuel-up camp. And I was able to share, though I couldn't bring myself to tell him that we kissed already <_<

But I take in faith that he gets it. All us people in relationships. We know. Ahhahaa uh. I shared about boundaries, etc, and stuff. And he said, God, there are a lot of questions marks I keep sending up to you. And you keep sending rainbows down. And each rainbow is a promise of your love? That there is no condemnation. Which you have been telling me. But what he told me about boundaries really helped me to understand that.

Not to take it like a law, which condemns, I get it. But what to take it as?

Boundaries: 1. To help you honour your partner 2. For you to explore other forms of love.


That really helped me. Breathed a sigh of relief. Its not a law that if we don't we die. But really, something that would be cool to try, but if we don't, its okay, you know? Its helpful, its good, but yeah its chill.


Yeah.

Ummmmm.

Rachael and I hung out later. Haha. And it was so, good. Lord. We hung out. with you, and all, and held each other, and just talked about stuff, and it was amazing. And all that. And really shared, and stuff. Mmmm. The best. Bringing you into it really was the best thing. Ever. ohh gosh. Thank you, God.



I realised we never actually got around to talking about honouring parents and not being together though. Uh. Ummm.

I just get the sense, God, that you approve. Right now.


its okay. Um. Okay. Just help me to love you, and seek you, for my own, k? And for each other.


Its pretty simple:

We're in love.

Her parents don't want us dating yet.

So uhhhhhh. Provide a direction, God. Its not about rules. It really is about loving you. Help me love you. Thank you for helping us work out the issue about condemnation. We're not.


And yes. Reason why I focus on you more than Rachael. Rachael is amazing. But she cannot lead me through life!

Only you can. Cause you know. And you're in charge, and in control, and you know everything. Only you can guide me. Rachael can't.


That's why I love you (: One aspect, anyway, and the one I think I want to focus on.

Yeah (:



Ummmmm. Parents....I guess the plan is....yes.

Pray that: she can build relationships with her mom so well that she can openly tell her how crazy we are about each other, and whether honestly we can get together earlier. For a real, open, relationship. And from there hopefully something can happen. But for that relationship to be there. Yeah



Ehhehehe. And uh. Hopefully I can meet her parents sometime. On neutral ground. And give them a good impression of me? :x

Yeah.

But at the same time, boundaries for being friends, the same reason to think about. Not because its BAD....

But exploring a relationship as friends, and love in there, isn't bad either.


As opposed to going straight in. We missing out on so much. Its possible. To explore. Not just go deep, but go wide.


Sorta.

Wisdom Lord, give me please (:



Love. Let tmr be a good day? I'll do the cell thing tmr. Attendance. Cell question. Testimony. Decide what to do with cell (Cerise), worship, journal a word thing. Dance. Hopefully a book.


Yeah.


And message my dad now. Yeah (:


Love you, Dad (God)


Love,