April 24 2010

April 24 2010

Sooo.....helloooo God.


I know I have a lot to thank you for. None of that has changed, none of that has disappeared. Dance, stage 52, friends, freshmen, winning dance4fund, flash mob, dance classes, shoes, Rachael, life is pretty crazy.


But I'd be lying if I said I wasn't kinda sorta frustrated right now. The lack of money. The lack of parental support more than anything else. Running around all of today, when all of this could be avoided. All that stuff to do, testimonies and stuff, jessie, feeling perhaps that I'm a big incompetent loser.

All this stuff is floaaaaaaating around. Grumpy ish. Hahhaa. And I wonder if I'm putting dance before my relationship with you, God? Like, I really want to be at service later, but not enough that I'd give up rehearsals for. And that makes me feel badish.

And I recognise that the bad feeling comes from satan, not you. You would never try to make me feel bad, because you love me. I need to dispel that misconception. Dispelling. I guess idk. The whole thing with jessie, and how tired I've become while loving her, has made me feel like I don't want to make you feel bad either. Do you? Would you? And if you did feel bad, would you tell me?

Ish. Deceiving liessss. Hahhahaa. Give me an answer to this, please, help me understand you wouldn't feel bad. I have trouble accepting that now-ish.

Oh right. I am not you. I have aways to go, which is why love makes ME feel tired. But Love is patient, love is kind, always faithful, always trusts, and you have more than enough for me. Because you are God, who is love.


Okay. I get it. Thank you God, you really are amazingly wonderfulllll.


Okay (:


But I'm still tired! And running over to service later! I can't wait. I know I stand uncondemned. Rawrrr. Bring me back into the fullness that is your joy. Thank you for letting me bring my laptop today. I thank you for the time out, travelling today, so I could sit down, think, and soak in you. In home with Facebook and all I might just get distracted.


Hehheheh could I have that iPod please. And headphones. Roar. :x

And please make Jessie feel better, God. I don't think I've ever prayed for someone as hard as I have been for her, actually. :s Because I know there's so much I can't do, I HAVE to give it to you? But I should also trust you, aye, pray in victory and joy, not out of stress. Aye. Love her, God. Transform her into an amazingly strong passionate woman for your name.




Roarrr. Thank you for awesome music, God. Thank you that I still have a working mac to play it on. Hahha.


My music is better than the party's, yesterday <_< Newer, fresher, and I can control it. Hahhah ursh. And put Korean in if I wish. Discoveries. Hmmmz.

Yesterday was okay. Decent. I realised I like dancing in light, more. Not dark. I have moves I want to perfect. I want to perform. I want to work out, and full out, and be a better dancer. Parties don't do THAT much for that <_<

And I got to hang out/dance with Sharonn!!! Awesomee!! And Hafiz. Hahhaa. Cool. Gosh, was protecting Bernice, Cheryl, and Uli from them guys. And ignoring girls wanting to dance with me. Hahhaha uh. But yeah. Lena wasn't there, but. Yay (:



It was okay. I know where I'd rather be (:



Mmmm the songs have me psyched for later. Thank you music, for being there when nobody else was :P


I REALLY WANT TO MAKE IT TO SERVICE LATER. RAWRRR.


Thank you God, that I managed to journal some. It really made me feel tons better, putting the thoughts on paper, and seeing the solution in front of me. Thank you so much. Yeah, I love you, help me not to feel bad that you love me too much, or wonder if you're feeling bad.

Help me see true love, aye? Holy Spirit, come :D Thank you Jesus



Nom nom nom. Pretty happy now. Ready to go full out, and catch everything! I'd better. I want to. I know there's a reason for everything that happened today, God. And the journal times, and character building, and choice to worship you and be joyous in you, among other things. Maybe I'll meet some really cool people later. Yeah. I know it'll be a good experience, Lord. Thank you :D


Help me to know when to come baaaack! To church!


Love (:


I actually feel more rested, now, after journalling, God. Thank you (:


Help me stay rested? I thank you for banana and walnut bread. Hahhaa. So that I can take the time to make a good testimony later! And the profile pic. Yups. I trust you.


Ahhhh thank you God, for bringing me back to you. Its exactly as I prayed. Its easier to be happier now. Thank you so much (: (:


Just grooovin now. Psyche psyche. Today's going to be a good day after all. :D Thank you God for stepping in :D