JPIC Advance Question - Answers

a. How will you describe what success as a cell leader look like to you? Be as specific as you can. Talk about what changes you will like to see happen in your own life and what changes you will like to see in the lives of your cell members.

- Well, I would love if my members become hugely passionate about God on their own right. With an undying desperation to pursue God and his mysteries, and starting things among their own pockets of friends in school or otherwise, wanting to do worship, or healing, or other things, on their own.

- And also if they trusted me to have me as their pillar. That they come to me for support and guidance the way I go to La. In fact, the relationship between La and I is how I model a lot of how I see success. I want all of them to become leader material. And because that's their full potential, not what I want for them.

- My life? I would love a natural outpouring of love that I just can commit to them, and intentionally set aside time for them, not just time-time, which I'm good at, but preparation time. Building a safety net.

b. What were some encouraging things that you have heard, seen or experienced which kept you going?

A lot of prophesy. A lot of God talking to me in worship, letting me know this is where I am supposed to be. And I am glad. Friends running along the same journey, just their existance. Hannah, Charlene, Chonghao. Kegan. Sam. Kylie. Lots of what I heard at HIP. ALOT of encouragement from Josh, Jenn, and La. I mean, in many ways I lack father and mother figures in my life, and I hold onto a lot of what they say, or that I can go to them, and that they believe in me, even though I can be so silly.

I guess the crazy things that I do? I get an idea, I run with it, I drag people along, and something really cool happens, and that makes me feel good that I can be flexible like that and God moves. I know my strengths, daring, crazy, flexible with plans, good with people's hearts, listening to God's voice, and when I get to act on those, I am very encouraged. Like the youth ministry altar ministry thing.

c. What were some of the discouraging moments and how did you deal with them?

Parents. A lot. They're just not there for me about this at all, which does hurt, though God has blessed me with Him, a whole lot of leaders, and friends, and a sense of identity, which helps like crazy, but it does make me question myself and God's plan for me sometimes. Like this morning, Mom screaming at me to get a job. I can't really tell her about oh, I was at Ldrs Adv last night, this morning, thursday night I was running cell. It does make me feel like I'm leeching off them. And I do have reasons for not getting a job as yet, but it makes me question my worth as a person, how can I be a leader if I can't even provide for my family. Things like that.

I sat in the train with worship all the way here. And God was just reminding me of my self-worth. Like water running over wounds. It does help loads, just being in God's presence wholly, when i want to be, when I remember to be.

What discourages me - when I'm incompetent. When I'm late, like today. When I'm irresponsible. Last-minute. Slacking off. My impulses (which I value), and the lack of wisdom to not know which to turn off, and time wasted and other things. When I don't help out around the house. All these attack my self worth and make me question why am I even a leader.

- Same answer as above.

What discourages me - when I don't know when I'm doing enough, esp during service on saturdays. Should I be messaging more. Praying more. Organising meet-ups one-on-one. And sometimes its not that I have no time, but that I want me time. Slack time. And I worry whether I'm being selfish. And caring more about my friends than my members. Because being with friends takes less effort. And should I be organising dinners with them, instead of basking in places where I am already loved, you know.

- What encourages me. Other leaders. What they do. Different people do different things, some sit with their cell every week, some don't, but I always see a valid reason. Advice, friends. Yesterday Sarah was like "why do you worry about where everyone is going to sit, and if they should sit together? Just tell them, sit with me if you want to, if not, sit with your friends." And I was like "oh yeah, omg, paradigm shift, thank you" (we don't have to sit together to bond) stufff.