God is good (:

Q: God, how can I possibly make you change your mind by petitioning, like Abraham and Moses and Mary did? And if I can make you change your mind, what about your perfect plan and perfect will? Isn't that a contradiction?

A: My son, I do have a perfect plan. My perfect plan involves you interceding and changing my mind. I love you, and I'm cheering you on. I want you to intercede, to change my mind! That means you are ultimately following my will. I love you, I want you to drive.

:D

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Wow. That's one of the biggest answers to one of the biggest questions I've had all conference. I just simply asked God for that (: Also, coming from the book Unlocking Heaven by Kevin Dedmon, page 28,29

The answer to my question: Do I need to ask God's will over whoever I pray for? Like "God do you want Jason to be healed? Kathy? Your will be done!"

And the book clarified that it would not have been possible for Jesus to do that. The lady with the cloak. Jesus could not have possibly asked God first before it happened. Peter's shadow.

Also, the clarification that God is always healing, and wants to heal. Always. And its just up to us to release it. God doesn't go "I'll heal you, and you, and you, but ....not you"

HAHA! (:

So yes I don't have to ask first. Just go. You know what, I'm going to write down these questions and thank Kevin for supplying the answers through his book, it really is God moving. Yay. Haha. I'll still going to ask him about how to break the language barrier though! Or comment on it. Its soooo irritating when people speak only Chinese or worse, dialect. Haha. We really encountered problems with that over the past few days.

Random: I really love Tina. :D

Its so amazing how much she's grown over the past week! She is so different from the person I met on Good Friday! Completely and totally transformed. WOW! (: You are good, God.

About time I started journaling again. Hahahah yeah thank you Dad by your grace (:

So. Today was interesting, but very cool.I didn't heal anyone. And we met a few people, but nothing like the magnitude of yesterday, where we just went all out in joy and love and spam blessed love encountered healed people and everything!

On that note encountering God yesterday was so awesome. Gifts. Destinies. Encouragements. I'm going to Australia!!!!

:D

Awesome. So my heart's desire. Thank you GOD (:

AND AND today Nick the Bethel Intern came up to me and greatly encouraged me in the area of dance hiphop worship! Yay! I so needed to hear everything he said, he was so much sent from God! Telling me to just go for it, don't restrain anything, just turn it into something really cool, God loves it, and it can be used for intercession! YEAH! (:

Cause I've always had two problems before, though lately and especially this week I've been trying to bring it out more in worship but not really daring or knowing how:

1. I'm not sure if some stuff is allowed. Like intense butt-grooving stuff, what I'm good at...
2. I don't think I'm really good.

But today the whole creative session SO encouraged me, and now I know that whatever I express to God creatively is good! I don't have to worry about it being "perfect", I break that attitude off, because whatever God creates is good and we are made in His image :D

YAYYY. Tmr worship so looking forward to it. Hah. I went over to the Malaysian dudes Jarod and Michael and told them the same thing, will be dragging them to the floor tmr and wow watch out God this is for you :D


Haha. ANYWAY, Treasure Hunt today at Anchorpoint. I was tired. A bit sian. And vaguely annoyed with Gideon. And I was starting to strive! Which is bad. So I was just trying to enter into a position of rest in God again, yeah, and spent the rest of the day dwelling in it. Yeah (:

And God spoke to me while I had Angie's iPod playing in my ears, seeking Him in Subway. And seeking His love. Because ministry is supposed to be spillover love! I can't help but leak it.

And I was far from it so I knew I had to come back into God first before I could even do anything...

Then, God spoke to me, encountered me and told me He really loved me. And because He did, things to show His love for me, not just words, were coming my way. Gifts, people, blessings, tangible things, the way someone who genuinely loved someone would do, not just words. Yeah(:

And He understood the person that I am, and that I needed constant replenishment of love, not just memories, and maybe a bit more attention lavished on than other people, cause I have greater emotional needs, and He was so prepared to give me all of that. :D

And then He gave me a new name. Because honestly speaking, the name "Keann" was born out of a need to "act cool". To be cool, and liked by people. And while it has now turned into the name that symbolises the part when my life turned around and I was so blessed socially, and had so much fun, and so much more to life, and everything, and love, and so it is everything positive, God wants to give me a name with greater meaning.

Now "Qi En" means revealing grace, and so a great Christian name as well, but because it was in a period of my life where I endured so much hurt and pain and rejection and neglect, I associate it badly. I don't want to be called by it ever.

I mean, I'm sure "Saul" was a good name too, you know! But Paul needed to start over with a clean slate, and God gave him that with his name.

(:

And now I am "John". Because I am the disciple whom Jesus Loved. And it exemplifies the person that I am, how much more love and attention I might need from God than most people, and how He is so prepared to give me that.

Actually also from Tuesday I have "Samuel". When Theresa Dedmon prophetically anointed me with the words "Young Samuel". Yeah young Samuel, the young enthusiastic set apart for God boy that heard God's voice. Who grew up to be the fiery authoritative prophet that travelled all over the Promised Land, anointing David and Saul, and living in exciting and great times.

Wooooooo. :D

Haha. I shall need to study the stories and meaning of "Samuel" more, and "John", in order to fully take on their mantles and impartations. But yeah. Rawr. I take and receive what I understand now. Haha. YAY.

Thank you God! [:


So anyway, I rested today. Just kept right on resting. Dwelling in God's love. Haha. I mean, despite me having gotten all the treasure hunt clues for Holland V, I don't actually have to go there! God still loves me, I don't have to do it to fulfill anything or to seek approval. Everything has already been done, it is finished. This is just meant to be an outpouring of love, and how can I do that if I don't feel loved, and am not secure in it!

I mean to bear real fruit, not artificial man-made fruit from striving. :D


And because of that, now I have a greater understanding of rest! Yay. Haha. Thank you Dad! And Jesus and Holy Spirit. Raahhhhh. Hahahahah (:


Oh man I really need to set aside a time for journalling. Haha. Time is set back now and I gotta figure out the cell plan for Hearing God's Voice, in light of SSM teaching, and pray for it, do Medlaw? Yishe those questions scare me ><

Haha oh God. I love You. Yeah (:

YAY I JOURNALLED. (: