Keann's heart is never coming back to him, is it.

Well, yeah.

I just realised in the past 10 minutes that no matter where I go, how many people I meet, how many crushes and almost-crushes and relationships I fall into, I still keep coming back to the same person.

It is annoying. I don't want to.


I want my heart back. And it isn't even her fault to begin with.


I pray that you don't see this.


It would be quite an epic story though, if somehow, at the end of it all something does happen but life never happens that way does it. I don't dare to hope. Just like how I don't dare to think about relationships anymore, not because I'm that happily single (I am, but still), but because I can't comprehend and can't and don't want to deal with the consequences of screwing up any more friendships and any more people.

I just can't.

But I'm digressing again.

It just completely irritates me how I can drift over to Facebook and find a profile photo of you thrown to me from some random app or other, and 2 seconds later I find myself reading your wall, captivated.

Reading and recognizing the way you type that is so totally you.

Noticing little things in your speech pattern that have changed instinctively, and liking it anyway.

Fighting an urge to post and say "hi, how are you doing" because nothing good can possible come out of it and I don't think I mattered THAT much in your life to you while we were friends anyway. It was just my skewed perceptions that made you matter to me.

Smiling, and kicking myself for doing so.

Its been what, 4 years now? God.

I so thought I was wayyyy over you.


And I suppose I am.

It just so completely irritates me when I see the part of me that liked you waking up again, because I know it well, and you'd think that out of all the lessons I learnt about relationships and friendships from there I would simply remember to not. go. there. again.



OH COME ON. I SHOULD BE WAY STRONGER THAN THIS. 4 YEARS. SHEESH.


Keann you are majorly retarded. Thanks.



Okay now I really must get some sleep or I'll end up sleepwalking during soccer later. So much for kicking Ambassador Butt.

I miss you, friend.