One For The Ages

I have long forgotten what my last wish-list was like, but here's the one for 2008:


Clothes I want to buy:

- Big shirts. Yes please. I so need more clothes. Chances are if you buy me one, no matter what design it is, I'll probably wear it. As long as its big. Green, blue, yellow, white, fun colours. Need moar clothes D=
- Caps. Any kind. Lots of em. Caps, beanies, commie hats, the works. Caps are fun ):
- Sneakers. I need to have more than just one pair of white ones! Seriously! I need vaaarietyyy. And sports shoes too. I need shoes, period.
- Jackets! I have a sports jacket and a windbreaker, all I need now are hoodies. But more!! I want jackets I can swim in! :D <3

I already have the gloves so I'm cool on that end (:


And I like my current selection of bags..



Things I want to do:

- Dance. I so want to dance. My popping needs to get so much better. My body wave is all messed up. Neck isolations, any isolations, I neeeddd to work at it. Right now I seem to be just stealing stuff passively from NRA members surreptitiously. :/ I need to learn to choreo! And turn my random spontaneously stuff into cool learn-able stuff! Need to be better in the air, too. Aerial stuff :/

- Mixing. Half the work in dance is knowing what songs to pick where for what and when to cut and how to mash up with other songs..The thing is, I hardly know most hip-hop and R&B fare. Not that I want to especially, most of it is somewhat messed up, but the stuff I like, I really like. And there's so much you can do with music! Hopefully my ProTools crash course in Radio 2 will really help me there, and my stint at live sound management in AV Min, but I right now have nowhere near the feel for beat and stuff that Josh has. It'd be nice though, to do half the stuff I dream about, for the times I randomly think "This song would be really good coming in here, and I could chop this up to-", to actually be able to implement it. Yeah. To be in control (:

- Guitar. Serious. Yes. I so want to/ need to pick it up. I'm trying half-heartedly to get my guitar back from Cheryl right now, cause I can see how much good it could do. I could contribute to cell worship. And carry around with me the power to inspire and motivate worship at any given point in time with Christian friends, in lets say school, in a way that sudden random acapella kinda fails at. Spontaneous worship (: Plus, that time I randomly picked up my sister's guitar, and found the D chord, and suddenly spontaneously composing a simple melody from just the first three strings having never played the guitar before scares and amazes me at the same time in a way that piano could never do for me. I mean, maybe I have this hidden unlockable natural talent that God is just waiting to unlock in me the moment I try working hard at it. I don't know. I want to create (: So yeah!

- Piano. Ya huh. I'll never admit it to my family/especially my mom ever, but I long to play the piano again. To learn how, anyway. Not many people know this about me, but I picked up piano till grade 5 in P6 or something, but it wasn't fun for me then. More like torturous and pain/conflict-filled. Too much nagging from mom. Too many arguments, too much crying and screaming and yelling from both parents about it really just sickened and turned me away from it. And now my sis is going towards her Grade 8 or something, and I'm moping about wishing I could just spontaneously go to the piano like some of my friends do or what the keyboardist during worship does, play and play and play and manipulate and follow your heart and make beauty out of thin air,to go into Yamaha shops and lose myself in the keys. Except that I have no idea what to do with the piano right now. I can read and follow, awkwardly due to lack of practice, but what I want to do are chords. Contemporary. I have no idea how that is going to work out, but I do wish. Haha. Bleagh. Of course, I'm never ever going to touch the piano at home when any of my family is home until I'm really good at it, its the whole ego/pride thing.. :/
But man. Someday. Haha. <3

- Drums. Dum dee dum dee dum. I don't know. I can't seem to figure out if its God calling me or my usually impulsive heart again, or a little bit of both, but I've found myself drawn to drums lately. Even though I know absolutely nothing about it at all. Maybe its since I started paying attention to beats in dance, or the whole AV min and staring at the drums next to me thing, or whatever, but rawr. It would be so cool. Again, the spontaneous creating thing. And messing around with rhythm and coordination. And just generally being kickass and awesome. I can totally see myself coming home to my own sound-proofed apartment in the future after a long day at work/uni, sitting down, and losing myself in a cacophony for at least two hours. So cooooooool. (: Two things are for certain though. Sitting next to the drums on the soundboard in church is definitely going to help that dream, and my parents never allowing it ever. Ever. Specially not my over-sensitive mom and my extremist-banhammering father. Nope. Cost, size, and noise. Haha. Meh :/ So its more like a dream somewhere behind guitar and piano? Realistically. When I have my own job and my own place or something. Meh. Haha. It'd be so cool to mess around with, though! :DDDD DRUMS! (:



Its especially funny because when I was younger I never ever saw myself as ever being musically inclined. Or dance inclined. But yeah. Man. So cool (:

I just wish all of these dreams happened when I was younger and could feasibly do more about them then, and also that I had a more understanding family ):


I'd be lucky if I managed to pick up just dance man. Most people spend most of their lives just TRYING to master one of those things up there, but I want all five of em? Haha. Geez.




Habits I want to pick up:

- Waking up, early mornings! This one at least, maybe is somewhat achievable. I LOVE mornings, they're so beautiful, and there's so much that can be done other than sleeping through them, or gaming -.- I mean, I will never understand, I am heavily guilty of this as well, why we (and I) are so insistent on staying out so late and waking up at 12 the next day all grumpy and sticky and probably late for school. Hay guys, lets stay out and chill and party and game and do all sorts of weird stuff when WE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING AROUND US IN PITCH-BLACK DARKNESS that would be so beautiful in the morning! And lets totally wake up next day at the hottest time of the day with a headache and sweaty bed. Missing the sunrise, the lazy clouds and morning mist, and general coolness and singing and colours as the world wakes up in cheerfulness. Yeah. And then we go look for nature on Youtube. Sheesh. Sigh. My problem is that now that I've started waking up earlier, which is amazing and good thank you God, is doing productive things doing that time. To resist the temptation to turn on the com and get lost in..Maple, lets say): There's so much I can take advantage of the morning hours for. Like sporty stuff! Which brings me to my next point..



- Running. YES. I NEED TO RUN. I HATE RUNNING, BUT I LOVE RUNNING, AND I CAN SEE HOW IT WOULD BE GOOD FOR ME. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN NOW/SOON.

Bleagh ): When I was younger, I was never interested in running. I could never see the point. What am I running after? Oh you know, the clock. What does the clock do? It ticks, and it counts you down, and laughs at you and depresses you and all you can do in futility is try and beat it again, which you will never ever do, but try and try again for a high score, just like Snake. Which is maddeningly fail. It leads you nowhere. I'd rather kick a ball. That's cool. And it doesn't hurt quite so much, and its exciting, unlike running which just is boring and torturous and kills you.

That hasn't changed much. I still much prefer to chase after a ball and other people than try again and again to beat myself. BUT I have started to see the sense in running. I need moar stamina. I am horribly unfit. There's no point me speeding after a ball on a pitch or on a court for the first 5 minutes of a game with everything I have and being the best player on both teams if I tire after the first 10 and can't move anymore after 20. Which is what happened the last time I played basketball. Which is maddeningly infuriating. See, I don't understand the concept of holding back. Of preserving energy for later. Its hard-wired into my DNA that it just isn't possible for me. I MUST charge for the ball like the world is ending, or I'll never know when to. I know its not a concept that most people have trouble with, but hey :/

And so the conclusion to that is that I MUST run, so that my Max-Speed Mode is more sustainable. I hate my body not being able to keep up with what my brain is inspired to do at any given point in time..


Gosh, this entry was supposed to be just 15 minutes long. Blah ):


- ANYWAY, SWIMMING. What can I say, I love to swim. I love being in water period. Its so cool, so refreshing, you can burn yourself out in the water after 50 laps but not be sweaty or whatever, and its the closest thing to flying we'll ever really get. Huh :/

But yeah, its so, free :D

What I don't like about swimming, there is this illogical conclusion in my brain that swimming is a lot of trouble. Like bathing. I love bathing, but for some reason I keep thinking its a lot of trouble when in reality it just takes 15 minutes, I enjoy it the whole way, and what usually happens is that I waste 30 minutes or longer on the com or other things hot sweaty and grumpy when the actual bath would have just taken 15 minutes, and have been so awesome all the way. And swimming's like that too. It seems to be way too much trouble to grab a towel and drag my butt downstairs to the Sports Complex 5 minutes from my place (see how lucky I am) to swim. Sigh. I need to get past that mental block like asap, hopefully I can sustain that swimming on Wednesdays in between classes for like forever. And see where we go from there. Swimming <3


- WORSHIP. This ties in with the guitar and piano. Yup. Yup. I so need to get into and KEEP the habit of worship worship worship. And creating atmospheres to do so. Headphones and static songs are somewhat fail, somehow. I mean, its good, but no flexibility. I often wonder how it would be like if I could make my own music to God (: So yeah, self-explanatory. (:



- You know what, when all is said and done, I'd love to cook too. Ahhh. I really enjoy myself when I'm cooking what limited stuff I can cook, which is not a lot, but its fun. Throwing things in and experimenting. Except my mom doesn't trust me with the stove at all. And nobody has ever taught me to cook anything. My sister now knows how to do spaghetti and cabonara, and she does it frequently. Sigh. My father cooks a mean corned beef fried rice, and my mom well..generally cooks what moms generally know how to cook. Not that either of them would teach me anything.. ):

Ahhh. Father is teaching my brother cooking as I type this.. I am jealous. Not vaguely. Muchly. Bleagh. ):

Ah well. Dreams. Haha.



Two more things I'd like to do, and do well:

- Lights/AV ministry at church. Yup. This hopefully, should materialise soon. I mean, I'm not hugely passionate about audio, that's Keenan's place, but I guess after last Wednesday (this week), I'm getting the hang of it, and it does really help with radio and all that stuff I mentioned earlier with the music stuff. So yeah I guess. But what I think really has me secretly very excited are the lights. Pretty lights. Shiny. Moving colourful shiny lights. Oooooh. Smoke machines and laser beams. Mmmm. Its like playing with 30 gigantic multiple rotating lightsabers! Gee (:

I think its kinda clear I am really looking forward to when I can learn it :DDDD

Heh (:

See how lor. But I like playing with beauty. Hee (:

- And the second thing. Be proficient in God's word. This one, is somewhat much hugely harder. Haha. But I've got a couple, okay 4 verses down pat now, and about 16 more on my wall, and I really need to commit to learning them by rote and by heart. Haha. The 4 that I memorized this week have really already been a huge help to me throughout the course of this week, so its not like memorizing verses is redundant! There is so much power and wisdom and blessing in them at your fingertips if you do! Yeah. And its something I kinda have to do seeing what my calling is. Haha. Bleh. Its probably going to be a lifelong journey of attempting, but I guess I'm happy to do so. Haha. Steady and slowly as she goes. :D Mmmhmm.


- I just thought of a third:


Love and pray and hang out and love all my friends that I love to the death so much. I'm pretty blessed friends-wise, actually. I just need to remember to call on them in times of trouble, which I honestly don't do hugely often cause I don't want to burden people which of course is retarded because I would gladly listen and comfort my friends in their times of trouble and I know its likewise ( thankyou [: ). But yeah (:


And I love you, and want to hang out with you more. Hugely more! Call me whenever, you know I'm good for it! :D

Yay. Haha.


Gosh, that last section sounded so PR man. Haha. Gosh :/ Blaaaaahhhhh. ._.



See, I've sidetracked again. Haha. Okay, putting a summary here for my own benefit:

1. Clothes I want to have
- Big shirts - Caps - Shoes - Jackets
2. Things I want to do
- Dance - Mixing - Guitar - Piano - Drums!!
3. Habits I want to pick up
- Mornings - Running - Swimming - Worship - Cook :o
4. Two cool other things
- Lights ministry - Word of God (:
5. Frienndss :D
6. Other things I want to buy!

Oh section 6? Here it is. I just thought of it :D


Other things I want to buy:

- Books. When I grow up, I wanna be famous, I wanna be a star, I wanna have my own library. No really. I do. Like, fantasy-based. All these series I want to fill my old dusty shelves from wall to wall with. Then God/Christian-based books. And comics, and other novels, and old classics :D

- Speakers! YES, SPEAKERS. A SURROUND SOUND SETUP IN MY ROOM, IF POSSIBLE. :/

- A gaming PC. Baaagh. Hooked up to an Xbox 360 and a PS3 and a Wii sharing the monitor. And big screen skyping capabilities. K going back to being serious now..

- Headphones. K this is more serious. And would be very nice to have speakers that don't spoil on me for once. Throw the iPod in the mix for good measure, the mp3 player I'm using now is decent, but jeez, an iPod :/

- And then after everything, I'd like a dog again. Yeah. I miss Alison. Tons. I miss the nuzzling, the crazy walks, the huge guilt-inducing eyes, running my hands through her fur, and all of it. Gah. ):

I'm dreaming of a Border Collie, that majestic black noble thing that I've dreamt of having since being a kid and reading Animal Ark and Jess the Border Collie. I saw one two days ago in my block and all the memories and longings came flooding back...


Ahhh ):

Plus, its not quite so mainstream and inane as all the Golden Retrievers and Labradors and Chihuahuas running around. Haha. Nothing against them, they're awesome, but hey, Border Collies <3


(:



So the new summary wishlist would be this:


1. Clothes I want to have
- Big shirts - Caps - Shoes - Jackets
2. Things I want to do
- Dance - Mixing - Guitar - Piano - Drums!!
3. Habits I want to pick up
- Mornings - Running - Swimming - Worship - Cook :o
4. Two cool other things
- Lights ministry - Word of God (:
5. Frienndss :D
6. Other things I want to buy!
- Books - Speakers - Gaming PC - Headphones - my dog again :o


RIGHT. OKAY. THAT'S ALL I'VE GOT TONIGHT. GOODNIGHT AND LATER (:


AND YES A HAIRCUT WOULD BE VERY NICE BUT I CAN'T AFFORD IT RIGHT NOW GAH I LOOK LIKE A MOP WITH IDENTITY ISSUES ._>/


._>/


._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ ._>/ .






._>/



\._./



/sleep(: