OHMYGOD

YAYYYYY (:


AH. I AM HAPPY :D



Its super cool. Man. Haha. And I didn't have a hand in it at all, and there was no real conclusion to it, but I know that even though I can't remember what I really said, and I don't know the effect I had, I believe in faith that whatever I said was exactly what God intended me to say, and He put the words in my mouth, and the words I have said have gone into my father's head and even if he wasn't really listening, they're in his brain somewhere now and God will do something with that. That He can and will soften my parents hearts through that. Somehowww.


I had a discussion with my father today about the Charismatic Movement.


Me for, him against. Yeah. And honestly, I can't remember what we talked about. All I know is, I managed to hold my own against everything he threw at me. Like, I was prepared for it. With all that I have learnt so far from Coos, from talking with Pastor Josh, from attending the family church anti-charismatic talks, and even the stuff that I was pondering/studying today about the Bible in the earlier post, it all came into play. And I am grateful. Grateful that I'm believing in something not because someone else told me to believe it. Grateful that I took a step out in faith, to learn what really was the truth, that I went to both sides, that I gathered data and argument from both sides, and discussed with people, and that I looked at all that and truly understood WHY what I believe in is right.


Now I just need to organize it. Haha. I mean, if you asked me right now, I wouldn't have a set solid argument to give you because there's a lot of it swirling around in my head right now and its messy, and I wouldn't know where to start you off with. But its a start. And I believe in faith that when God intends for me to get it right, to understand the relation between all the concepts, to have them all at my fingertips, He will. In his perfect timing. In his perfect nudging. And all I have to do is not worry about how smoothly I can deliver it, and let Him take over, and to focus on the more important things in the faith than argue to kingdom come over the right and wrongs of the Doctrines of different churches.

See, that's not the focus of being a Christian. Never was, and never will be. Our responsibility as Christians is to love God, and then to love our neighbours. To glorify Him with our lives, to worship Him, to grow in Him, and to bring others to Christ. And I believe that if we have those right, and those down, and obey Him, and pray for the things that burden us, everything else will fall into place :D

And less finger pointing ._.

I mean, its not something that we can control. I could not control me falling away and backsliding. I could not control God waking me up and bringing me to Coos. I could not control God telling me to go attend family church again. I could not control family church happening to have a series of talks on anti-charismatism just exactly on the weeks that I've been back. I could not control meeting Pastor Josh last week to share. I could not control SAJC promos happening which led me to really enter into a habit of praying and praying and praying actively for people I really really care about and love, and that habit recently helping me unconsciously pray for my family a lot more, when it was something I just wouldn't think too much about. I could not control my sister asking me today where I planned to go after Mass Comm, which led me to saying bible college. I could not control my sister continuing to ask me about why I wanted to go to bible college, which led to me talk about God's call for me there. I could not control the turn of conversation towards my church, and my sister asking why it was wrong, why the charismatic movement was wrong, at the dinner table in Tiong Bahru Plaza.


I could not control my mother asking my father to explain it to her, which of course led to me speaking up, which led to a very civil (Thank God) but somewhat epic discussion between my father and me about the whole thing for at least an hour, which lasted beyond the dinner table and up the escalator and on the way home in the train.


I could not control somehow the end of that conversation turning to me telling my father that I hoped he saw recently that I have been trying, so hard, to obey and honour my parents, especially in the area of staying out late and stayovers, where I no longer went if my parents said no and only because I love God and am trying to obey God.



I wasn't in control then, and I am not in control now. I can't soften hearts. God can. I can show a person a wooden chair, and prove with all forms of mathematical and physics and chemistry formulae to show that if he sits down, the chair won't break. I can give him all the data in the world, I can show him pictures and videos of people who have sat in chairs, but he won't know that the chair won't break until he sits on it.

And I can't make him sit on the chair. Only God can.


But I can pray. And the cool thing is, because I have been praying, and people have been praying, I can see progress. And I don't know how further progress will be made, but I know that God will bring it.


And I know God will heal this family, and grow us in Christ. At least, I hope so. Hell, it could possibly be a catalyst for the whole of Fishermen being shaken up and learning all God has to offer, my parents being Sunday School Teachers and all. I was skeptical when Sharyl told me she firmly believed that God can do the same work in my family that He did for hers, but gosh, I am greatly encouraged tonight.


Hey, I can dream, can't I. But I will be patient. God's timing, not mine. And I desperately want my brother and sister to grow in Christ, if nothing else. It could take years. I don't care. I have God. And I have all you people who care enough about me to read this blog. And others who care, but not enough to read :x

Lol.

And if nothing else, I will remember this night, when all comes to pass and this becomes an amazing testimony that I can stand up and deliver and to tell everyone the work God has done in my family since the last time I went up. I will remember this night, and I will remember the power of prayer:D


Freaking amazing. Haha. I'm no pastor. I don't know the Bible from end to end. I wish I did. But even if I did, I don't think anything would change. Honestly, I can see in humility that it is inconceivable that all the pastors in the world for the past 10 years around the world, who know the Bible as well as they do, would just happen to miss some stunningly simple concept that could unite the chasm split between the church by the Charismatic movement that I just happened to wander along and pick up.

I'm pretty sure that pastors who love God and do nothing but love God, leaders of churches, have already studied the Bible extensively on this, and if they are already divided, so firmly, logic and thesis and debate is really not going to convince anyone of anything.



But the greatest of these is love.

And God can do anything, and He will make fools of men and logic and wisdom.

And all we can conceivably do is follow in His wake by faith, really, and in joy and in peace and in prayer.


:DDDDD


If nothing else, this was a great encouragement tonight. I hope this was some use to someone else. Haha. :D

(I'm am sorry for the walls of text :/)


Okay Lala just asked me to lead worship. I'm going to respectfully decline. I'M NOT LEADING WORSHIP WHEN THERE ARE VISITORS COMING, GODAMMIT.

Considering what happened the last time I led worship...


I do not wantz Charr and Shereen and Marie-Ann and Berd to die laughing. Or worse, be disappointed ):



Okay..maybe this does involve stepping out in faith. Again. Haha. But I will call La first.

:p

Later (: