Belt it out

Cause here I am
So alone
And there’s nothing in this world I can do
Until you’re back here baby
Miss you want you need you so
Until you’re back here baby
There’s a feeling inside I want you to know
You are the one and I can’t let you go

And I wonder
Are you thinking of me cause I’m thinking of you
And I wonder
Are you ever coming back in my life

Cause here I am
So alone
And there’s nothing in this world I can do

Miss you want you need so

Amidst all the crazy stuff that’s been happening, all that God’s been teaching me, lessons learnt, comfort given, being disciplined, there’s just one more.

Just one more lesson, one more situation I’m going through that no one will ever really know, at least not right now, cause there’s no point telling it, and the telling of it isn’t going to help anyone, close friend or no, guy or girl, cell leader or pastor.

Yeah. I’d tell it if the telling of it, and how God is working in my life through it, would help any of you reading my blog, if it would bless, encourage, and strengthen you. I would gladly. For I know it’s a situation that a lot of us face.

But the telling of it would cause more harm than good, and now is not the time(:

Plus, I’d prefer to teach about it when I’m out of it. Heh.

Maybe a long time from now, to another generation, when the telling won’t ruin any ongoing social situations and friendships that we treasure so much now. When we’re all old and married and with kids, when we’ll laugh about it and shake our heads instead of running around trying to do damage control.

Heck, I’ll write a book. Two books.

So yeah. Till then, this one I gotta stick it out alone, I think. In wistfulness, semi-longing, responsibility and trusting God.

Here we go Lord. Hold me tight(:

Cause here I am
So alone
And there’s nothing in this world I can do

Its an interesting sensation. I’m in tears. I do want to cry. But I am in peace. I am not beset by emotional turmoil or dilemma of any kind. God has me and I trust him wholeheartedly and I’m just not saying that. I’m not overly happy, but I’m not sad either. I’m just..zen. Is this the peace that transcends all understanding? I suppose so. And I treasure it. But I still want to cry. And I will. Just because.

Gosh I hate how BBmak can just set me off just like that. :/ I mean, I asked God for a song to heal me and minister to me, and I was kinda looking for a Christian song, but funny how He works, huh. Guess all songs can heal if God wants them to, it doesn’t just have to be Hillsong or Planetshakers or whatever. He knows whats going to best cut through our hearts at that specific given time. So yeah I guess. Haha. Bleh. I mean, the lyrics aren’t even directly related to my situation. Its more an ideal that I identify with, as I belt it out in the dark of my room at half past midnight.

Are you ever coming back in my life
Cause here I am
So alone
And there’s nothing in this world I can do