Nobody says my name like you do ):

Keann,

I don’t know if you’ll even try to find my blog again but I had to change it last night. God didn’t even have to say the word, I just knew deep down in my gut that I had hurt you and I didn’t want my words to add to that. I know you’ll say you’d rather see it but it hurts me to know that the pain you’re feeling right now is because of me.

Trust me. I know it hurts, because as I’m sitting here typing this out, I remember every single one of those nights where I’ve cried and cried and cried and had my body feel like it was physically aching for no other reason than it missed you. And you need to know it gets better. My friends got me through that, all those painful nights and it scares me to think you might have to feel that too. And you have amazing friends, people that love you so much that they’re just waiting for you to knock on their door. Stop worrying about intruding into their lives because they want you there in the first place and they’re there for you. Especially in a time such as this.

I found that letter you gave me, the one you wrote for your future wife… the one you wrote long before you met me. And I need to tell you I’m not that girl. At least not where I am in this part of my life. But hold on to that letter, because I hope that the next girl you give it to will be the last and that she’ll feel the same joy and happiness I felt at the hopes of a future with you.

I pray, that in all of this you find God. I pray for nothing else for you, because I know that the moment you feel His love rush over you, that despite every ache in your heart you can smile because God’s telling you it’ll be okay. 

^‘ For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.’ Matt 6:21

I’m sorry if this letter doesn’t read well but there’s so much I want to tell you and I know that these words will never be enough. But God has more than the words I can ever think or feel. So go back to Him Keann because your heart is so much safer in his hands than mine.

You will always be the one I can say I first fell in love with.

I’ll miss you Keann,

-R

I don't want to give that letter to anyone else but you.

I don't want that girl to be anybody else.

That's the thing.