Journaling 1.

Let's try and get this journaling thing started for real. Even though the wisdom of doing this publicly on facebook is tenuous at best. And yeah probably shouldn't be done but just to start me off, I suppose. And this appeals to me more than having a folder of word docs for some reason, and a private locked blog is oh so lonely and depressing.

I am retarded.

So today was generally awesome. Paper aside, I am rather proud of the efforts I took to make sure I'd get to HIP interview on time. Like, the motivations came naturally. Which, whether just because its a church-God related thing (which matters greatly to me) or a habit that I am starting to develop, it is still cause for celebration! Kinda-sorta. Now I just need to bring that habit over to all other areas of my life, just being punctual for church won't cut it..e.g. even my own personal timetables, or I'll never get anything done.

So tonight I really must plan tmr's timetable, of which I know vaguely involves me visiting the half-pipe tmr morning and meeting Casey at noon for gym. And I have no idea what else, but I want to fit guitar, and hopefully dance (which is doubtful) and some other productive thing inside.

Like something that will keep in with my claims that I am very serious about being a leader or something, some self-initiated material or something or other. I don't know. Blah.

What I do know is that this journaling thing should start up, and stay up, and I also need to incorporate personal daily devotionals as part of my lifestyle, leader or no leader.

As pointed out and hammered home, though gently, by pastor jenn today.

I could also do some housework maybe, something to show my parents that Christians on this side are generally awesome.

Not that I'm going to go all Mary Poppins on it, but something. And I need to firm it up or I'll never do it. Gah. Oh yeah, I have to get the cell rsvps for corporate prayer tonight..

Spiritually, today was good, Last night was like a wake-up call, to me, knowing I had to get things right with God before coming for the interview? And today was really great in terms of getting me back on the right track again.

E.g. I shall stop reading Tucker Max. That guy is having a clear detrimental effect on my moral values. Gah. Edifying edifying. Not that the guy isn't funny, but when it comes to consuming content that is valuable or not valuable, I gotta put my foot down or something.

At least I've read all of his stories already. Lol. ANYWAY.


HIP interview was amazing. Without retyping what I sent the pastors and thanking them for, I have come away with gentle reminders that I should 1. Start journaling 2. Settle my personal devotional time 3. Don't think about getting out of things to start working towards what is seen as useful things for pastors to pick up, but pick up whatever experience you can where you are placed and do it genuinely, because the future pastor is not going to be a typical bible college person etc..but will have skills picked by God, and I gotta pay attention to that instead of boxing myself in!

Coolios. And greater support and strength was given to me in the struggle against porn. So it was a good day(:

I suppose what matters now is what I do with it. All these lessons are well and good, but bringing it back to reaching out...gah I am still scared. And my new naturalness in visions and prophetic drawings lost since that fateful backsliding friday is still something I am a bit....gah, I just gotta make a conscious effort to practice and reach out for it right. Haha. man.

The cool thing about HIP is that I'm actually not worried. In or not, i trust God and I trust these guys implicitly to trust God in their decisions, so lol. If I'm not in, it just means that I have all this time that I can jump into Chonghao's guitar classes with, to get the guitar going so I can bring and lead worship, so ultimately yay, right. Haha.

Coolness. And that's it for spiritual stuff today, I guess. Yay. Mmmhmm(:

Notice how my musings and ramblings about these things always lack verses or something, though they should generally have them? But I can't wield a gun if I have no ammo in it, so I really need to start reading the bible moar. But how and searching for what. Gah. Haha. We'll see.

NOW GOODNIGHT.