Letters

And to you:

Hello. I don't think I've even met you yet, maybe I have, I don't know, but chances are that if I am meant to be together with someone for the rest of this life, you're alive and well right now and running about the same world I'm in, we just haven't met yet.


Logically speaking.


Haha well. Yeah. What is there to say. I miss you.I miss you already, even though I haven't met you (at least I think I haven't, and if I have could you please tell me so my life can be spared all the complications of its current state).


I miss you. I miss connecting with you, I miss laughing with and at you, smiling outside and inside at your smile, your sparkling eyes, your dimples, your wavy hair, drinking every aspect of your physicality in with wonder and awe at how I ever found you and how I could possibly ever let you go.

I miss the sound of your laugh that tinkles and echoes through my memories, I miss smelling your hair after an impetuous run through a January spring shower, after an hour-long warm bath, before Sunday breakfast and every moment of my existence in relation to you.

I miss us cooking golden pancakes in the resplendent mornings, I miss us laughing at a picnic on the green fields amidst the water sprinklers, I miss us hiking to the top of mountains to share a moment, I miss us cozying up in a comforter in a big armchair in a warm library by the fireplace with hot chocolate to share a book.

I miss us night after night after night up on the roof in the field on the street curbs in the balcony lying on our backs staring at the stars trading secrets, every secret, secrets that we can and have never been able to tell our closest friends, guys or girls, for the best of reasons.

But we can share those secrets, because there is nothing to hide and we are everything there is.


I miss you.


I pray I meet you soon. Because life isn't going so good right now, I mean its okay, but increasingly I find myself alone, despite all the wonderful friends I have around me that I love and treasure so dearly.

Because they can't be there for me all the time, and I can't for them, and I wouldn't ask them too, not to spend all their available time on me, because they are friends, and part of being a friend is letting them have other friends, other lives, chilling out, self-sacrifice.

But you, you're different. You want to hang out with me. You desperately want to be with me as much as I desperately want to be with you, calling me when you're done with classes, showing up at my door to surprise me with waffles, planning a huge birthday surprise for me behind my back, treasuring me and thinking of me when I have to go on holiday and we can't keep up our midnight calls.

Just as I am doing the same for you, not out of repayment, and not because I expect something out of you just because I do these things for you.

Simply because I love you, and making you happy, surprising you and entertaining you makes me happy. Spending time with you makes me happy, because you alight my soul. And I do these things one-way, free gestures, with no intent for reciprocation(:

Freely giving with abandon and smiles and love just because making your life better is right to do, and I stop thinking right there(:


And it is so cool because you do exactly the same, not out of obligation, but simply because it is easy and natural to love me out of everyone else, because you see something in me that even I don't understand, but you constantly reassure me that its there anyway.


And the weird but cool thing is that that's exactly the same way I feel about you.


We are lucky people aren't we, finding each other like that, hearts and souls and minds finding a timeless companion in one another in a crazy hurting tumultuous world. I can't get enough of you.


When the whole world turns on its head in chaos, when parents, people, best friends, brothers let us down and we rage and cry and sob ourselves to sleep, its not so bad, because your arms are open and I know I can come running to you without feeling awkward or weird or imposing.

Because your love is one freely given and unconditional, we've talked about it, like every other thing we've talked about, even the really hard stuff involving each other that friends don't talk about, to each other, and we know without a doubt that even when we fight or fall or cry, I trust you and you trust me.

I trust you about everything, and even though you can't tell me how many stars there are in the skies tonight, you're my next best bet after God and my money's on you.

I've never met anyone like you, you blow my mind, you can argue with me intelligently about the best of issues holding your own, you refuse to compromise on being you, you shock me, annoy me, make me tear my hair out in exasperation sometimes.

But at the same time you melt my heart. Just looking at you takes my breath, my soul away, I could lose myself in your eyes forever, in those sparkling windows into your beautiful soul. Your hands, your fingers that hold me, your ears that I whisper in, your toes that dance across the sand together with mine, and your hair-

Lets not even get started on the hair.

And everytime you throw a tantrum or are silly or just plan to drive me nuts I don't know whether to hug you or to hit you.

So I kiss you.

This happens quite often.


And even while you can be so silly and crazy and my partner in crime so many times, when we need to be serious, when I need to be brought back in line, when I'm hurting and need not just a hug and hot chocolate but advice, you snap back and you wow me with your insights and your compassion and your love and everything else in your beautiful mind. We dance, we sing, we cry, we take over the world and everything else we set our minds to because nothing can stand in the way of our love. Not even the kids.


I love you.



I hope I meet you soon.