Quiet 2

I think I know where God wants to use me. Heh. Can you guess XD

Lets just write about you, oh God(:

SO I’m here now listening to We Fall Down by Chris Tomlin, I think its been 10 minutes since I finished the last thing I was writing just below, lol. Ah well. But hey(:

I think its going to be a huge transgression if I don’t try to capture every miniscule moment of what I’m going through now, just sitting here looking at God(:

We fall down,
We lay our crowns,
At the feet of Jesus

The greatness of
Your mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus

We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy,
We cry holy, holy, holy,
Is the Lamb(:

We fall down,
We lay our crowns,
At the feet of Jesus

The greatness of
Your mercy and love
At the feet of Jesus

We cry holy, holy, holy
We cry holy, holy, holy,
We cry holy, holy, holy,
Is the Lamb(:

*cue saxophone solo *


Heh. I switched to this song cause my ears were getting a bit tired, and even Hillsong songs were getting a bit jarring to my ears. Even Hosanna haha. I don’t know whyyy, I don’t know much about music, if someone could tag me about this it would be cool. Haha.

I don’t want this to end. I know, that generally once I head home, I’ll get distracted by stuff, the Internet, trying to navigate past parents, siblings, etc. Yeah. Yes, I could pray about it Lord, for You to give me the strength and focus to do this at home too, but hey. Haha. I’m rather afraid that I’ll pray about it and promise God that I’ll do it, and then I don’t do it.

See, one of my greatest flaws is that I say so much, promise so much, have people see so much great potential and believe in me, and then I don’t do it, and let them all down.

Which is why I implore you to not take this blog as a gauge of the person I am. A couple of people occasionally come and tell me “Oh you’re so holy”, but I’m not, honest. I’m nowhere near people who don’t talk as much, don’t blog as much, but do so much more. Melodi, Chonghao, Yisin, Hannah, Rachel, Charlene, etc. People who serve, people who actually do things, and if you guys are reading this blog right now, I want you to know that you’re a great inspiration to me, and a great blessing from God to the people around you. Your parents, your friends, your siblings, and the people you serve. And God (:

I do want to get there, eventually, but I keep getting held back by all these weaknesses of mine. Like for example, turning up for cell what 2 hours late? With no good reason? Letting Lala down? So yeah. I have a long way to go, Lord.

Oh I know. You’re here with me. And I can’t do this on my own strength, and it’s a partnership with You. But I think lately, I’ve been saying too much of that and then not actually doing anything. So yeah. I don’t want to make any more promises than the ones I’ve already made, Lord. I want to fulfil the ones I’ve already made to You, and the people around me.

Which is why I didn’t go for altar call yesterday. Haha. See, Pastor Jen called for us who needed to actually DO something about the things God had been calling us to do, or to let go of sins and distractions keeping us back, to come to the front in a representation of what we’re promising God that we’re going to do.

Altar call is generally something kinda hard to do. To step out in front of 300 plus people who know you, in response to a specific problem the pastor has laid out as told to her by God, or a call by God etc, takes a certain amount of faith and boldness that God is going to protect you as you go out, and not let any judgement or whatever takes place.

Except for me it isn’t that hard. The issue of “omgosh going up to front how I’m shy” has never been much of an issue for me, and it usually isn’t a problem for me to throw everything to God, and step out in faith. Y’know? And the emotional charge-up, etc.

For me, the problem is that after the altar call, and after the leader praying for me, is me just letting it lie, and then letting it die.

So yesterday, my personal altar call, my personal step of boldness and faith in God, was to not go up. A representation of how I’m going to try and stop promising and promising and promising, but get down and do things first, before talking about them.

Yeah. Or something. Haha. So the pray+bless campaign! Gosh! Monday! How are we going to do this, Ngee Ann people!? :s

Howwww. Haha. But damn. I’m not going to let this one die. God don’t let me let this one dieee.
Like the 30 sec kneel-down and pray thing I was gonna start in school. It kinda failed really badly. I did it like twice I think on the first day, and it was great, and you could really feel God there, but then..I just let it die. ><

Bah :/

WELL GOD LETS MAKE THIS ONE WORK. HAHA. OKAY(:

Yup, once Bev gets here, I’m going to bless her. Actually maybe I could go around the tables at Starbucks now, and bless random people, but I think I might get kicked out, and I’m like kinda shy so –

>.<

YES, KEANN HAS SHY MOMENTS. OKAY. I’M A PERSON JUST LIKE ANYONE ELSE.

Except maybe Hannah and Rachel. XD

HAHA :D

You two were awesome up there yesterday yo. Don’t ever lose that spark of love and trust and faith in God, kay? You’re a huge inspiration to the rest of us, alright :D

See you guys soon at Day of Power or something. :D

Guess I better get down to editing that testimonial..

Gosh I feel super guilty sitting here hogging the 4-set sofa all by myself, its exactly what I hate about others when I come into Starbucks looking for a place to sit with friends >.<

Ahhhh Bev come soon. Haha :/

Gaggh. So much to do today.