We were discussing like our future and where we want to go/do/be and stuff, and I realised that:
For us writer/speaker gifted science/math failure types, there really isn't much of a place in the working world for us once we leave school.
Shocking.
I mean, you know how JC/secondary school is. Lets say you're a Lit pro. And you absolutely fail at Science/Math. And the thing about Science/Math? You know that all those geniuses in the top classes acing them are acing them mostly because of all the hard work and practice they're putting into it day after day after day mugging TYS, so you're like "wow these people are smart, but they're also super disciplined and hardworking mannn".
As for those few Lit students that ARE topping Lit, they are the ones who well- generally don't study, and don't really do much work, skive around dodging teachers, and still walk in on the day of the final Lit paper and pull some crazy ass deep perspective shit out of their ass and walk out with an A.
And those hardworking dudes earlier, no matter how hard they work, they're never going to really "get" Lit, cause its very hit/miss either you see it or you don't.
Which only really serves to create an aura of mystery and awe and "I can do magic" and "I'm a crazy random genius" around the Lit topping students.
See, you can tutor Science/Math. You can get the top students to teach you the concepts you don't understand. But with Lit? I've tried man. I've tried teaching my friends what I see, but they'll only understand what I see in that certain passage in the book, but they won't know how to "see" for themselves, whether for other passages in that book or other books. It is frustrating. You can't teach somebody to "see" like you "see". But then it also feels kinda good, because well, you feel...special.
And then you turn around and realise that in real life there is no future for the Lit students of the world, as opposed to the Science/Math/Accounting/Econs students of the world.
Don't get me wrong. I love Lit. I crazy do. I miss it like crazy. But where can Lit take me in the world, really? Besides teaching Lit and that really is a never ending cycle, really. Lol. I always envisioned myself, delving deeply into Lit and Philo and discussing fervently with other like-minded people the theories and inclinations and motivations of the great thinkers and writers of our past with a nice cup of cocoa in hand in a nice cosy room with lots of shelves of books and a good fire roaring, but seriously now.
Not that there is much to discuss anyway. We're so far along in our advancement since the advent of great "classic" writers and thinkers that pretty much any epic philosophy or school of thought has been beaten to death already by countless discussers before us? My view, anyway. There'd be only so much we could do before it all becomes redundant, and we'd be pretending that these issues exist just so we could argue some more.
And I don't think we'd get paid for it, anyway. Blah.
we COULD become script writers and playwrights and actors in the Arts Scene, but again exceedingly-high risk/reward, plus very small sustainable market, and to be good, you have to be REALLY good. Like world-applauding legendary. Still, it is an option. There you go Charmaine. Go Broadway. Gogogo.
Same goes for writing a book or whatever too.
Not saying you shouldn't go ahead and try, but it is no lie to say that for us dreamer/thinker/word-crafter types, the world is a much bigger and scarier and unreliable place to try and ply our craft.
Yes we have the potential to be truly great, but only a few can be truly great, and a lot fall by the wayside..
Plus, the problem with creative literary genius, is that we don't know how we have it, we just have it and don't complain, but what if it goes away? And we're left stranded like a mudfin that's sitting pretty on a beach rock oblivious to the receding tide assuming its going to come back, but not knowing that its all drying up and sinking into a hole on the desert floor.
Yeah well. Haha. And don't say Mass Comm. Really. People think that the automatic choice for us outspoken literary unconvential types is Mass Communication and the media, but it really isn't. It helps, sure, the command of the language, but other than that we don't really have an edge. Its more like a perverse twisting of the convention of Lit than anything else..
In Lit, in scriptwriting, in book-writing, in storytelling and wordsmithing, you're writing for yourself. You're writing to explore the vast potentials of something that is close to your heart, something that interests you, something that you see goes unpunished in the world and you are beset by a undying passion to call attention to it. Your dreams, your interpretation of the world, your laughter, your crying, your nightmares and greatest fears.
You're essentially saying to your reader "Hey, this is what I can do drawing upon all my life experiences and the heart I have in me. I really hope you like it. (:"
You're writing for You. In Mass Comm? You're not writing for any of that. You're writing and designing and coming up with ideas that will pander to the world today so you can make money.
It really is as stark and bleak as that. Oh, I'm sure some people live for that. And I'm sure it gives some of us here on this earth great joy when they manage to pinpoint what exactly the world wants and happily gives it to them, in the simplest most dumbed down form so the most number of people possible can enjoy and entertain and most importantly pay for their content. There's nothing wrong with that. The media is a business, after all. And businesses ARE to make money with.
But that's not what I signed up for. Did you know a newspaper is not to spread the news to the public? A newspaper is created to make money through advertising. The news fits in between all the advertisments put out that day to the public. The news is to reel in consumers so the paper can charge more to advertisers based on subscription numbers. And thats the way it works for all media vehicles.
But I really think if I started focusing on writing just to appeal to as many members of the public as possible, as opposed to writing for me, and the people out there in the world who'd relate to me and the fears and struggles and loves I'd be going through, I might die a little inside.
Which is why I'm so hesitant to jump into the big world of advertising, for one. A newspaper isn't so bad, so long as I'm not the one handling the advertising function.
I am sure there is a greater purpose to things. A greater ideal, a greater passion, a greater love.
I guess that's why I'm a dreamer. Haha.
I'm not worried about my life though, I've pretty much had at least most of my life mapped out by God for me, a calling I'm happy to answer, and I AM grateful.
But talking to Charmaine today made me realise that if I didn't have that destiny and understanding between me and God, I'd really be left out in the wash now, and what about all those people that are like me that haven't had their lives mapped out by God?
I want to be a famous writer—and a good one. I want to write intelligent, literate science fiction and fantasy stories (and in other genres as the mood strikes me), with good characterization, stories that will reach deep into people's psyches and tear their guts out (to mix metaphors rather unpleasantly). I want people to laugh and cry at my work. I want them to say, "It was better than Cats."
But I don't know whether I'm capable of that. And if I rush off half-cocked, trying to be the best, and I fail, what will I be left with?
Here's a little piece that I found on dreaming and whether to go for it or not that I think we can all very nicely identify with. Check it out haha, won't take two minutes.
(:
Hang in there all you literary/drama/writer/dreamer types. We still do have a destiny out there for us. I for one am going to see if any Uni will have me after I graduate from Mass Comm, I still do want to delve deeply into Lit and Philo at some point. Maybe do a degree on the side while serving in church. I still intend to have that huge room with stacks and stacks of books and a hot cup of cocoa and the roaring fire. And we can sit around there and talk and dream till we're all old and dry(:
And maybe at some point in my life, I'll end up writing, myself. That'd be funny. :D
See you guys tomorrow! :D
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