Random

I don't know man. I have a lot on my mind at the moment, but its not organized and i'm not going to attempt to.



I mean, I love church and all, and worshipping God and having fellowship with my friends who're super on fire for God as well(:



And that lasts until all about their parents come to pick them up.


Or send them off to the airport, and treating daughter's friends to dinner together just because.
Or devote the whole sunday to family day.
Or are entirely supportive of whatever their kids dream of doing.




While mine don't notice that i'm washing the dishes until i'm not washing them, don't say they're pleased when I give up nights out on the town because i desperately am trying to live for God and listen to my parents, but scold me the next night when i come home at 11:45 and not bothering to ask why when i'm passing Hillsongs tickets to a friend oh hey who's parents drove her to the mrt, and not trusting that the bloody police called because they just need me to go down and collect a statement/warning from a case long long ago that closed, not that i've gotten into trouble again, and accuse me straight out of lying about turning on the damn computer outside and making such a big thing about it when I haven't lied to them or anyone for that matter for the longest time



And coming back into the room whenever they think of a new insult to say to me.




And recently putting the whole "You're a Christian" crap on me. I mean like wow. You judge and condemn me and leave me hurting every day even when you're not in the picture and here you go messing with me. I'm already trying so hard to live for God every day but you don't see that and seem to think that i'm a horrible horrible delinquent that needs to repent of all his sins.



Gah.



I knowwww. I knowwww. Problems are for a reason and all that, to direct us, to inspect us, to correct us, to protect us, and to perfect us and all that, but isn't it someone else's turn to get the crap for awhile.



*Story of Job comes to mind*




I hate you God -.-






(And I meant that in the most lighthearted way possible in no way do i mean it in a angry negative sense)


Lol.



Okay i'm better now thanks God (:



It seems i've been asking "why" a lot lately huh. Why does it have to be me, etc. But problems are your gifts Lord and i've always known that in my head, and i'm sorry for the arrogance that makes me think even if just a little that "i know better" and that "this is the way you should be doing this Lord". Eradicate that, won't you? I ask now for the peace and joy that comes only from you no matter what the circumstances are because I know without a doubt that you're with me and I can stand through anything and make it a testimony to glorify Your name(:



I can't do this on my own Lord, and I'm okay with that, just let me lean desperately on You alright?




Thank You Lord, and I welcome the drama, okay i don't not really, but hey.




I know You love me (:






OKAY WHAT SENTOSA TIME NOW HAHA.





To be honest i don't feel much like going. But I'll pop down to harbourfront anyway. Sigh. And attempt to be nicer to my mom.





Overnight prayer :DDDDD




So looking forward to it. The last time, God really used it to challenge me about a huge guilt issue and stuff and i grew lots because of it. And this time i'm not going in blind :D




Rahhhhhhh. HAHA OKAY I'M HAPPY AGAIN.





I am so weird. Lol.