..Says it all. Post not 1 minute after my last, but idk it feels better organized if I divided up the emotional rant and the rest of the stuff.
..Yeah. Not sure what to say now. Floating around in melancholy. Wanting to pick up the phone and call someone, but not wanting to burden them, and kicking myself for needing to burden someone else with my problems. I feel guilty everytime I feel like i need to do that, guys. I mean, because its obviously not a one-off-needa-hug thing. Overly frequent, and I see that as a horrible weakness. I'm a guy. I should be stronger. I'm 17. I've lived through so much. I should be stronger. I am God's child in Christ. I should be stronger(okay maybe bad phrasing there its more of I shouldn't be affected so easily). I'm Keann, Mr. always optimistic over cheery crazy spontaneous daring impulsive person that others look up to. I should be stronger. Etc.
Sigh. Emotional independence yes would be nice. Bleh
GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
WHY COULDN'T MY FLAW BE -
Okay nevermind. I should stop beating myself up. Honestly. I have all the right answers, verses have been popping into my head, but I haven't been wanting to indulge them. I'll admit to myself now that I somewhat like the drama and tragicness of my life. I'll shut up now and go humble myself before God now. Or at least after this post. Too much ego flying around.
Still, been bummed out the better part of the evening cause of this matter. I felt so...defeated. At the bus stop. Like a "this again" feeling. More of the old. "I wish someone would walk in the door now and sweep me off my feet." "I want a happily uncomplicated love life." "I wanna not be the hero, for once." "Wouldn't it be nice if-"
Sigh. I KNOWWWWW. All the answers in the Bible and the back of my head. I'll stop this now yeah.
So much for this blog not being emo. Lol.
Actually my life isn't all that bad after all(: Its just that emotional fragility isn't very attractive at all and I don't like that.
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