I am blessed (: Hugs, dances, and people I really, really, love.

I really need to rip a hole in my other jeans leg. Haha. Now it just looks weird.

And thank you God for helping me catch the train. Haha. That was hilarious. Wake-up call much. Lol. Thank you for my limbs, thank you for my youth, thank you for what burst you've given me and your grace. Haha. The heck. Yay thank you(:



Anyway, I want to talk about FMS. Suddenly I am filled with a great surge of overwhelming love for my school. Haha. And I'll tell you why.

The open displays of affection. The "I-love-yous". The hugs. The openness in physical affection. Hugs, embraces, head-shoulder leans, back-to-backs, toe massages, etc.

All being able to do to one another without much worry that we're gonna stumble anyone, that anyone might misunderstand it and think people are being overly promiscuous or something. Or having too much physical affection.

Somehow everyone is just mostly on the same page here. We come in knowing that we are all mostly very very expressive people. And finding others that are the same, that want to express stuff outwardly :D

And hey presto hugs and affection and i-miss-yous. Haha.

This was never as clear as when I went back to FMS FOC camp yesterday to drop into the dance night and the after-hanging-out.

- interlude -

See. Exactly what I meant. I'm sitting at SGH now waiting for people and bumped into Beth from church, working here. And because she's older, and I'm on my "everyone hugs everyone" high, I offered a hug and she backed away.

Darn. Haha. Shucks. Not that I want to judge, but my impression of people at church is that they are not so okay with hugging? Youths, anyway. Like the guys a bit shy and the girls a bit sheltered. Probably not all of em. But because the culture is to not hug for fear of stumbling someone, or being inappropriate, and having boundaries, and not being touchy-feely...

So those that might want to or do learn that they aren't supposed to. Or are discouraged from. Ah well.

- /interlude -

So anyway, hugs are completely wonderful. I feel so blessed now. Haha. So tight, so secure, love, security, trust, unity, embracing and celebrating each other-

A hug can speak more than a million words. Haha. And bond so much faster. And minister. And feel so damned good. :D

Its not just about the hugs I think. Cause these hugs are not superficial hugs. Its also about open displays of affection. Going to someone and staring them in the face and saying "I've missed you terribly, I love you."

And then a hug.

Quite a few people might think thats weird. And off-putting.

They don't know what they're missing. Haha.

I remember who first taught me to hug. Charmaine I think. And Shereen. At camp, and at camp. :D

Those were good, and also the realization that hugging people is perfectly acceptable and awesome.

It just takes one hug, or the first few, to set people off on it.
:D

And also open displays of affection.

I think that's why people in FMS who are not used to it learn so fast too, from people around them and then afters personal experience. Yep.

Its really really cool.

Haha.

So anyway I'm not going to think about how far open displays of affection should go. And who should be having hugs, church, school, me, others, how old, whatever.

Complications.

I'm just going to celebrate them and be like ":D" cause i'm really happy that last night I was blessed with so much of that from so many people that I love and treasure very dearly, I realise.

Sonia. Josh. Keenan. Bev. Rachel. Denise. Sheryl. Adin. Sherylene. Inez. Munira. Marissa. Jane. Girl I should but I forget name >.< . Haha. But I know who she is lahhh. And the other one too. PRIS. Brandon. Matt. Li. Larris, Siddiq. Other malay dude I know from FOC, but I forget name. Loga. Yixin. Germaine and Justine I guess. Alex. Other people I know but don't remember names.

Okay I didn't hug all of them or have very super treasured time with all of them. But those that I did have time with.. :D

I am so proud of all of them. Camp may or may not have been the greatest, but I am so proud of all of them anyway. For even being there. For giving up of themselves for their freshies. For catching the flame and passing on the torch.

Yeah, I'm proud of the other GLs I didn't know too. It takes a certain something, a certain awareness of something other than self, especially in FMS, to volunteer for something like that.

Yeah, and it makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside (:

It says something that I realise pretty much almost all of the juniors that have mattered in my life one way or another were there.

And that is amazing.

Having Josh and Keenan there just tops off the cake, us doing our different things, hanging out with different people, but you know that we are a unit. Haha.



I am so blessed God, thank you for bringing me here. Thank you. It was worth all the pain and suffering before and during MCM to have these treasured and loved friends here, and to get to experience and give and receive all of that love and friendship in turn.

Thank you(:



It was good to see Marv too, lol. And Tim. And Nick. Jarrel, Casey, Hui Min, Ying Hao, Cheryl, even Eunice and Ver etc. Cheak, Lav, etc. I hardly talked to most of them last night or this morning, but I think I didn't make a nuisance out of myself at least, lah(:

And Dion wasn't much of an idiot, so...

Breakfast this morning with Tim and Cheak was kinda cool. Maybe next year, year three, will be really really good. Haha. With my new class. I can only hope.


But anyway. Hugs. Open displays of affection. Sonia. I love that girl so much. Pris. Sherylene, even though I pay her considerably less attention now partly because she has Adin to do that for her. HAHA.

Hanging out was cool.

And daaaannngg that new girl Steph is hot.

And sings, and plays the guitar. And dances. And gives really good toe massages.

And is crazy, and touchy-feely. And also a Christian, though I'm not sure how strong she is as one.

And touchy-feely. I like touchy-feely. WHAT.

And I noticed her at Red Camp already.

Darn. Sigh. I hope we become good friends, at least. We'll see. She's fun. Hopefully this will go down the Sonia route and not the Olivia route.

Hahahah God I am so glad this is private journal stuff.

Ah well.

I hope Deborah comes for church this Saturday!

And God I hope she has gotten to experience you, let nothing stand in her way of getting to experience you more. Like lets say coming to church.

And help me to be a good friend and semi-mentor. Haha.


So anyway, the bottom line is:

I love hugs. I really do. Hugs are awesome. And I love all my friends who were there who I got to spend time with, especially Sonia and Pris and Keenan and Josh. And Adin. And all the new kids I met, who seem pretty fun. Haha. Especially Steph. <.<. But the others are cool too. Alisah. Grayson. Grayson is awesome. Haha.


Thank you God for yesterday and all the love you surrounded me with at camp, with friends and people I have come to realise I love and treasure and probably will till my dying day.

Hugs mean a lot to me. So indescribable, so overwhelming, something I can't fully explain, except as something that is so much more. So. Much. More.


Thank you God. I love hugs (:


If one word were to define me, I'd want it to be hugs.