As morning dawns and evening fades, you inspire songs of praise :D

Hello I'm back. And looks like I won't be getting any sleep after all. Lol.



Title is horribly appropriate, it was one of the songs at the mega worship session at the end of overnight prayer about 6am ish.



I mean obviously picked to milk the lyric lah, but still, who's complaining!



HAHAHAH. <3 style="font-weight: bold; color: rgb(255, 0, 0);">gold dust and gold randomly appearing on bibles and speakers and on people during prayer and stuff.


: o



And then there was the manna with healing properties thing.


:blink:



It was interesting for me because as like a fms student and all i was paying attention kinda to whether these could possibly be faked, and for what end.



But dude you should have seen it. Hahha. Even though I died and dropped after the video went into an hour plus. :blink:





I honestly preferred the last session in the room though. Haha. That was all youths yes, but we were packed into a tighter space and i just felt it was more effective there but blah. It would have been effective this time and i'd have been more useful if i wasn't half out of it the whole time ._.




Which of course is a direct result of Sentosa. Lol.



Sentosa...Sentosa was great. Madness really. I mean. I loved every minute of it.




Up to the gay sex part





Not cool. I was and am very uncomfortable with these things. Playing around with sex is just not cool kay? Crass jokes and all that. And posing. There's a reason why I'm really not into grinding at all. The only way I could ever enjoy it is going all the way. And we all know what going all the way entails. Making out and shit. And I am fully capable of it. And as such when grinding happens I'm paying more attention to holding back and not crossing any lines and of course who has fun like that. I mean. Man. I tried to get into the stuff just now to oblige and not spoil the fun but every bit of me was recoiling from it.


And sigh.


Surely we can do better things than that with speakers, a room, and 6-7 people that're all Christians.




I just didn't know how to say it. I hate being a party pooper.







I mean okay it was funny. And the video thing was funny. But in a ew dude no please kinda way? And the worst part was that Josh was encouraging every single inch of it. Pris' lighthearted comments after the pool shower pictures are still ringing in my head.



"How can I ever be a cell leader ever again!"




And everyone was laughing away.


Okay yes maybe I'm overreacting but its no joking matter to me man. Everything else that night. The very very brief satanic music bit. And Josh's very defensive tone about it. The whole using Yixin as a model that night for a photoshoot titled Lust.



Josh what are you doing. It wasn't that long ago that you were super pushing for mass quiet time back at fmsa camp.





I mean we can argue the rights and wrongs of it all we like, but would you do any of these things in church? Encourage any of these things in church? What would Jesus do?



Very simple questions with very simple instinctive answers.




And I hate judging and rebuking, but its an entirely different thing when you're dragging down others with you. There. I said it. That's honestly what I feel. I worry so much about every single freshman that passes through the doors of FMS, especially the Christian ones, because i've seen firsthand what it does to people. I've experienced firsthand the backsliding that comes with the territory, more than once in fact, and i've been trying to do everything in my power to stave it off from happening. The bitching. Everything.


And you're not helping



I mean, church every week and dinner afterwards with Keenan, Yisin, Polly, Hannah, Shereen, Mel, Charmaine and the rest of the crazy people proves that we can be insanely crazy high people but have fun without going anywhere near the sex thing.



I hope you read this Josh, but don't take it the wrong way k? I just know you can be a better person. Come back soon.