I'm sad. And i'm tired. Poooopppped.

Going for hiphop dance classes at Jitterbug is going to clean out ALL my angbao money. 121 bucks for 8 week course + year membership. If i don't get the membership i'm looking at a hundred and forty-four bucks fee.



And I have to sign up this week or i'm looking at a 145 dollar fee instead due to March increased rates.


And Keenan might not be able to come cause he's half cleaned out due to paying for bass lessons already, and Andrew something or other too. It very much depends on whether their parents will sponsor them.



CAN ANYONE ELSE COME WITH ME I DON'T WANT TO BE ALONE. ITS OKAY IF WE'VE ONLY MET LIKE HI BYE WE CAN GET TO KNOW EACH OTHER BETTER
AT CLASS.



Sigh.


Oh this means I also won't be able to afford paying for track shoes. I'm just going to have to run daily in my crappy 20 dollar imitation tracks that I bought for emergency usage.


Bloody china products.







SO THAT'S ISSUE NUMBER ONE. ISSUE NUMBER TWO:


I forgot. Uh. wait. OH YEAH. I'M REALLY TIRED.


I can't quite understand why. I was holding up pretty good on the train home. Then when I headed back and josh+sharyl finally managed to find my place I curled up and slept in a sofa while they watched whatever they were watching. I was really out of it. Like whoa. And i think i know the reason.



Girl sensory overload.



NO SERIOUSLY. I DON'T HAVE THE ENERGY ANYMORE TO RUN AROUND MESSING AROUND WITH GIRLS. I MEAN I LIKE IT AND ALL, BUT I NEED SOME GUY TIME.


(this is a cry for help, a voice calling out in the wilderness, make straight the paths for-)


Oh wait.

Bible study is getting to me.

Heehee.


BUT YES I NEED GUY TIME. I just want to sit around, do stupid guy stuff without worrying about gah i can't quite put my finger on it, but i blame it on girls. Y'all men in the house are going to agree with me. Yes?

My inner jock is calling me.




ISSUE NUMBA THREE:

O-Level posting results.



Now I'm not quite sure how many O-level people exactly read my blog, but if you've happened to stumble upon this monstrosity in disorganization, I have this to say to you:


Its okay(:



I know some of you who are happy with your posting results, and great! I'm happy for you! God Bless(:


But for the majority of you who I seem to know who've been thrown into places you're not so eager to go into:



And we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.

Romans 8:28



You guys know this verse.

The "God has it covered, God knows best, don't worry about it, God has his perfect plans for you" verse.


But it doesn't make it easier to bear, does it.


I know(: I've been through a number of these situations, and it feels like crap doesn't it. Well I've got news for you.


That feeling-like-crap sensation comes from Satan


Think about it. If every week in church, in the house of God we always worship so joyously and freely about the love of the Father which we know has been burned into us, how is it possible that 3 days later we can be doubting the destiny that God has for us, essentially doubting God himself?


Gee, let me think now, who would want us to do that?


So yeah. Resist the bugger, and think of all the times God has been so apparent in our lives, speaking to us at altar call, making miraculously works happen before our eyes, confirmations in group prayer and powerful testimonies of pastors and people who have been healed!


How can one doubt that God exists, seeing the good works that he has done for us powerfully and personally.



I'll tell you how.

When we're wallowing in self-pity and we don't want to think about the good things that He has done.



Yeah. Who has never wanted to indulge that feeling of self-pity and self-sorrow?


I know I certainly have, I'm as much guilty of it as you are. I know full well how it works. We brush away all form of comfort and positive thought because we want to feel sorry for ourselves a little longer.



And that comes from Satan too. Don't entertain the thought any longer! Go to God. Go to God. Go. to. God. Even though we don't quite want to while we're wallowing in self pity.



How does this picture seem wrong to you guys? Not wanting to go to God, but doing something else?



In any other context, we would cast the notion out straightaway, wouldn't we.

Well a book I'm reading touches on the topic a bit. Because I'm so nice I'm gonna type it out nicely all secretary-like :D


:


Self-pity.




In a sense, self-pity is the worship of our circumstances. When we indulge in feeling sorry for ourselves, we turn our focus away from God - His goodness, His justice and His ability to save in any circumstance. And as we turn away from God, we cut ourselves off from our only source of hope.


We can so easily allow self-pity to seep into our hearts. When we [insert bad situation here], it seems we have every reason in the world to complain, to sulk angrily because we received a bum deal.


But do we really have reason to complain when we consider the Cross?



Self-pity is a sinful response to feelings of [whatever crap you're feeling right now]. We don't sin when we feel [well, like that crap], but we do sin when we use these feelings as an excuse to turn from God and exalt our own needs.



Harris, J. (2003). I Kissed Dating Goodbye (2nd ed.). United States of America: Multnomah Publishers Incorporated.


HEY. GOTTA PRACTICE THE WRITCOM.




So yes anyway the point I'm trying to get across is that self-pity is badbadbadbadbad. And also, frankly quite arrogant. God has brought us this far, healed us this much, and we dare to question his perfect plans for us?



I'm not denying its hard to do. But go to prayer. Trust me. Trust Him. Take as long as you need. Let it go. And let His peace minister to you(:




1 Corinthians 2:9

No eye has seen,
No ear has heard,
No mind has conceived

what God has prepared for those who love him




Dwell on that(:









Oh and if hello you're a reader that is absolutely befuddled as to what I'm talking about, but is touched at least a little by the absolute peace in our circumstances and security that is hinted in this entry, hit me on msn and we'll talk about it[:



Or tag me (:






AND FOR UH SORRY THOSE PEOPLE THAT HAVE INDULGED MY PRATTERING THIS LONG JUST TO READ ABOUT MY DAILY LIFE FOR THE PAST TWO DAYS THAT I HAVEN'T GONE INTO.


HERE WE GO:





Yesterday, Monday:


First day of sweet sweet holidays! 1) Ran to school to give Keenan book, 2) Ran to library to grab movies from Josh, 3) Ran to Upper Thomson to grab ps2 and games from Wendy, 4)Ran home reaching at 1.30 to find



None of the girls were ready yet.


I'd present to you pictures of the guilty parties but I'm lazy to go a-friendstering so I'm just going to name them with about as much fanfare as I can possibly muster. *Drum roll*



(Yeah, that's it)




Charmaine-Ann Thio and godsis Melodi Ghui



It was okay, watched Sweeny Todd which I honestly thought was meh and watched Bring It On 3, which oh yeah I thought was utter bullcrap I was sobbing in my seat and not from emotion. I also managed to burn popcorn and mess up my sister's brownies.


I would like to point out to all concerned that Melodi Ghui should never be allowed to have a maid.


THE FREAKING WOMAN WAS BARKING AT ME ALL THE TIME K. I MEAN YAY SERVING GUEST COOL BUT ARRRGH.


It's okay I still love you Mel. For now.


:D



And then Mel had to go for dinner and me and Charmaine discovered A SKATEPARK.


FIVE MINUTES FROM MY PLACE.



Now I just have to make friends with those guys so they'll teach me tricks :D


But I'm horribly shy so will you pray for me pretty please.


[:






TUESDAY:




Er. Was going to go running, found out I had no shoes, was going to go swim instead, but I'm still working off the trauma from getting hit on by a gay guy at the pool.




Let's not go there. And to make up for it I did push-ups and crunches instead.

SO.


Josh said he couldn't come over yet, Keenan could only come over in the afternoon, and Charmaine had to go do her appeal thingy. Chonghao who I keep hearing about but haven't actually met yet had to go shopping or something. Gah.


So somehow I got myself into accompanying Charr along on her long trip around Singapore appealing shit, I actually asked Keenan to come along but we couldn't figure out how he was supposed to get to Nan Hua from school, so we decided he'd go to my place first and I'd leave the key outside in a shoe for him.




Yes, I do that. Bugger off and get over it.



Eh. So I managed to find my way to Nan Hua, bored out of my mind, except for the part where I was convincing the security guard at the back gate that I was an ex-student coming to take testimonials from teachers for appeal, convincing random PE teacher that I was a 4-5 year ago student accompanying my friend around, convincing crummy old admin man that I had been through National Service.


Old man "You were an ex-student here?"

Me "Yeah, 4-5 years ago."

Old man "So you've been through the army lah."

Me (Oshit)"Mhhmm yeah"

Old man "So which unit were you in?"

ME (OSHIT WHAT DOIDONOW PANIC PANIC)




Then my mind flashed back to reading dota friend slashblast@hotmail.com's blog about army life and Ninja unit flashed into my head.


Me "Er, Ninjas"



Crisis over. Whew.


We decided after that that I'd be Charmaine's brother from now on.




It disturbs me at how easily the lying comes. And how well I am still able to pull it off.


AHH I'M SORRY LORD GUH AHHHHHH D=
Let's not do that ever again. Er. I hope. D=


"See lah Keann, guilt now lah"


*wince*






ANYWAY. We managed to get out of Nan Hua alive and ooh made our way down to ACS(I) for dear sister-in-Christ's appeal.


Oh and er we'd decided to walk.

Its so convenient hanging out with past trackers, isn't it, they do every crazy thing I do :D



Yes, from Clementi down past SP past Dover down to ASC(I) then down to ACJC and down to Buona Vista Station for good measure.

No wonder I'm semi-pooped.



Inanutshell because my internet time is runningout er forced Charmaine to shamelessly sell herself on the appeal form gosh girl whatever would you do without me, met Charlene, *hugs girl cheer up k! [:* , went down to ACJC, didn't see anyone, funnily, thought I saw Anna, stupidly mentioend it to Charr and our dear girl promptly displayed her inner stalking tendencies.




OKAY INTERNET OUT AHH BYE.