Anyway,
Genesis 4
Cain and Abel
6 Then the LORD said to Cain, "Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? 7 If you do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must master it."
Pastor Derek brought this up today to talk about God speaking to you or something or other which doubtlessly is really important and cool but the whole passage was speaking to me another way. Yup.
(I would honestly like one day free from drama yes that would be nice)
So hanyway I was honestly amazingly pissed at this brother in Christ for failing to listen to reason etc etc no you're not getting no more than that politics is bad. Like. Horribly bad. Like, I almost started yelling at him point blank in the aisle from in front of Pastor Josh cause I honestly couldn't stand that malfunctioning selfishness ego what-have-you whatever no more. Now firstly I don't go all Armageddon on people in public. Secondly this is a brother in Christ. Thirdly this is church just before service. That's how badly he pushed me. Ugh.
Simply speaking there was no way I was going to be able to worship God/pray/etc with all that hate slash anger in my heart that I couldn't give up so I headed outside to think and pray and yeah attempt to let go.
And thank you Lord for eventually nudging me to let go of everything and to submit to the guy wholeheartedly and all that(:
I wouldn't have been able to worship otherwise, have you guys ever tried giving your whole heart to God when you desperately want to cling on to your hate and ego and all that?
That verse about not letting the sun set while angry at your brother thingy isn't just conjecture you know. Its not possible to worship God like that. Trust me I know :rolls eyes:
Flipping through the bible there are like a million verses talking about loving a brother and not sinning against a brother and all that lol. Yes Lord I get the idea(:
So anyway I managed to come to God with a clean heart, and worship was awwwweesooome mannnn XD
So I nearly broke down again. Like tears in my eyes body racked in sobs kinda nearly breaking down. BUT ITS DIFFERENT YO THIS TIME LOL.
God's presence and holiness just overwhelmed me. Like. I could do nothing but kneel before him. Just too great. I believe God touched me and allowed me to see but a tiny minuscule bit of his awesome power and glory and even that was nearly too much for me. Like. Really. I could do nothing but cry into his- Yeah. Right there I understood why Paul was quite so terrified when Jesus shone down on him. I mean, like, I know Jesus has nothing but love for me and all and still I was reduced to that childlike slackjawed state. Poor Paul like whoa. You get the idea. Overwhelming. But cool(: Thank you Lord for allowing me to touch your cloak (:
Oh to be by your side Lord(:
Outreach thing on the wayyyyyy. And cell tomorrow! With lala! Come into our midst Lord and spring fire into our hearts. Oh God. This cell has not been afire for too long already. Come(: I can't begin to express just how much -oh just come Lord we're desperate for you Oh Lord I could go on all day like this lol. Just come(:
Rawr. I MISS THE CULTURE PEOPLE. D=
Oh oh pastor josh coming for prayer group this wednesday! Cooooooool. :D
I think that's all for now. Gah I need another church camp dammit ): Church is next door and only a day away and still i'm desperately missing it.
I WANT THE BAND TO PLAY MY FUTURE DECIDED, BREAK FREE AND REVOLUTION YES PLEASE XD
And I stand
With arms high and heart abandoned
In awe of the One who gave it all
And I stand
My soul Lord for You surrendered
All I am is Yours
(:
WE WANT THE WORLD TO KNOW XD
LATA<3
No comments:
Post a Comment